Wednesday, May 19, 2021

Phone Visits, Virtual H.H. And Vickie

Changed the bed, washed the sheets, and took the coverlet off the bed to wash. I decided it may be too big or heavy for the appliances in the apartment, so borrowed Suzanne's key for the laundry room. While it was washing and drying, I made several calls.  

The first was to Bob Szabo, asking him to turn on the sprinklers at the house, as he's done for me for years (I pay him, of course). The second was to Helen C., who is moving to the Methodist assisted living home in Ocean City on Friday. We talked for some time. The third was to Muckie D., with whom I had a conversation that lasted an hour. It was great fun to talk with her, although the news isn't entirely good. I enjoyed it so much that I sat down and wrote her a letter--a real one, which I'll finish today and send in a real envelope with a real stamp on it.

Went over to Von's for lettuce and beer.  At 5:00, I had virtual Happy Hour with Nancy and Carolyn. Nancy's hip is improving, she thinks, and Carolyn's eye surgery is coming up after her appointment on the 25th. Other than that, our conversation was, as usual, what we've been reading--or in Nancy's and Carolyn's case, what they've been listening to. 

I was surprised when the doorbell rang about 7 pm. It was Vickie P., who lives in the next building with her life partner, Mary, who has Alzheimer's. She knows about Betty and we've talked before about the troubles and sorrows surrounding the condition. I had stopped at her place the other day to ask if there was anything I could do to help, and I was glad to see her. 

Vickie stayed for about an hour and we talked very frankly. She is only 68, but looks older. Retired from the military (ouch!) and a convert to Catholicism, she is very religious.  I told her I was not, but didn't mention my pacifism. 

Vickie and Mary have been together for forty years. I asked if they had considered marriage and she told me that, in the early eighties, they had participated in a ceremony at a Catholic church that "blessed"--or something--gay couples. Wouldn't you know, it was in San Francisco.

Anyway, Vickie's had the book thrown at her. She had breast cancer, first in 2001, then a reoccurrence and a mastectomy, and now it's back. She goes on Friday for another test and, presumably, the start of more treatment.

What gets me is that, while Mary has two daughters and a son (divorced years ago), and sinks deeper nd deeper into dementia, Vickie has her whole care. She's in touch with one of the daughters, but there's no financial or other kind of help from them. V. is trying to get Mary into some kind of facility, but M. has only Medicare and Medicaid and no money for private pay. I was glad she had come over and will get to know her better.  

 

    

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