Had a perfectly delightful lunch with Julie L. yesterday. We went to SeaOaks and had no sooner walked into the dining room than I was hailed by Jack B. Introduced him, we chatted, then he went off with his buddy to the links.
Julie and I spent two hours over lunch (the usual for me, Cobb salad for her), then talked and talked on the way home and outside her house. We had had a slight--well, not exactly falling out, but a coolness that had occurred between us a few years ago and we're both happy it's now melted. She's a rather forceful, outspoken person who sometimes oversteps and I, of course, am just the soul of saintly, long-suffering...okay, we're a lot alike.
After dinner, I went with Leslie to the "Loss Support Group." There were more there than last time--13 people, all women--and the majority of the newcomers had lost spouses through death or divorce. They're good people and it's a helpful group, I guess, but there were times when it was depressing to hear their sad tales. They were all in their fifties or sixties and I was especially struck by the dependency they expressed. They lamented that their departed (one way or the other) husbands had handled all the money parts of their joint lives, including paying all the bills, seeing to taxes, and generally taking charge of their financial affairs. In addition, the men dealt with tradespeople, were usually always the drivers when they were together, and were the final arbiters of major decisions. Now the abandoned wives are overwhelmed because "he always handled everything; I never knew how to do all that."
This kind of thing always makes me feel alone and different--and just the teeniest bit superior. I do all that stuff now, of course, but not just since Pat's been sick; I've been doing it for years. That includes not only the personal realm, but when Pat had his business, I did all his billing and bookkeeping.
What in the world is wrong with these women that they allowed these situations to go on? Have the years of feminism and conscienceness-raising had no effect at all? Didn't they ever realize they'd have to leave the "little woman" world someday and grow up? Guess not.
Sister-in-Law Therese called while I was out and left the message with Pat that brother Jim will be operated on today. I fervently hope and expect that he'll recover soon and be good to go for another 82 years.