Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Monday Chores and the Windows* Group

I guess Mondays are, indeed, going to be reserved for necessary chores. From after breakfast to late lunch, I gathered trash, took it to the appropriate place, stripped the bed, took linens and other wash to the laundry room (back and forth, forth and back, as I was determined to use bleach for the whites and did them separately), re-made the bed, retrieved all, vacuumed throughout, and finally sat down for lunch. Mindful of my weight, which I recorded, said meal was a big salad with hard-boiled egg for protein. That satisfied me, but I'm not ignorant enough not to realize that on the first day that I try to eat right--I'm not using the word,"diet"--whatever I eat will satisfy.
Got a nice e-mail from niece Carolyn, inviting me to come up to Santa Barbara on the train and stay over. Yes, indeed, I'd love to, and I left the date up to her.
Showered and washed my hair, then for some reason, started reading some of my blog entries from a year or so ago. Boy, was I active, busy, and engaged in all kinds of interesting activities. I hope I can build up that kind of life here. Must remember I'm still newly-arrived and can't expect everything to fall into place immediately.
The widow(er) support group was scheduled to meet for dinner. I had signed up to go, but as I always seem to, wasn't enthusiastic about it at the last minute. I don't like driving at night--since I got here, Ellen or Gregg have driven when we were out past sundown--and thought I might skip it. However, I changed my mind and, as often happens, am glad I did.
I was early--so what else is new?--but Vera, the organizer was there already. Others came shortly, and here's the lineup sitting close enough to me to chat with:
Vera, who organized the group. She's a very pretty, slender blonde who's going to school to become a paralegal. She was 22, had an eighteen-month-old, and was eight months pregnant when her husband was killed. That was 14 years ago. Interestingly, she had mentioned at the lunch a few weeks ago, that she was engaged. However, last night I learned the wedding was off, the guy is a jerk and guess what? He lives in Colony Parc, where I do. I told Vera I'd be sure to trip him if he walked by.
Next to Vera was Chuck, a neat (as in "neat to know") man in his early sixties, I'd say, and full of good-humored intelligence. His wife died after an illness; not sure why. I have the idea he's recovering alcoholic. I overheard him telling Vera that he goes to Mission Church, but sometimes (some other) church, and sometimes ---. I think they're A.A. meetings. I noticed he was drinking iced tea.
Gayle: Just one of those motor mouths, spouting crapola of no interest to anyone. 'Nuff said.
Steve: Not sure of his bereavement history. Used an inhaler and said he had COPD. Seemed a nice guy, although we exchanged only a few words.
Julia: Last night was her first attendance. Her "loss" (gawd, I hate that expression) is very, very, painfully new and clearly, she's still reeling and openly bereft. Her husband was killed in September--yes, a month ago. Motorcycle accident in Moorpark. Interesting back story: Julia and he were in some kind of group and dressed up as Batman and related characters. They went to parties, festivals, store openings (but gratis, I understand) etc. as attractions. Julia made the costumes; she had a lot of pictures on her phone and wow, they were incredible. Her husband was Batman, and she had made his custom, mostly in leather (see below). In conversation, I mentioned "Ma Duncan" and oddly, Julia said she has a MIL like that. Odd Story: Her mother-in-law had lived with them and they can't stand each other. Now that the husband/son is gone, Julia wants her to leave and she won't.
Carolyn and ?? had been at lunch and I liked both of them. However, we were at a long table--wish they had round ones--and they were at the other end. There was also a man there, whose name I didn't get, and a new member named Rosie, as well as two others, but I wasn't close enough to talk with them.
When I got home, I looked up info on the accident. There's a lot in the Ventura Star on-line and there's also this:

https://www.gofundme.com/thebatcosplay

Reading about the accident, I learned that the driver of a car veered into the on-coming lane and hit and killed both Julia's husband and an Emmy-winning sound editor. Wow.

* Funny: When I came in, I told the hostess I was there with a group. "The windows group?" she asked brightly. Well, I guess it's a window on fellowship or something.

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