In a subdued way, yesterday was enjoyable. We arrived at the cemetery about 10:00 and after waiting a bit, it got underway. I understand that Dick wasn't religious, yet the ceremony was conducted by a priest (my SIL's cousin), who intoned the usual prayers and blessings. There were also two uniformed military people who folded the flag, played taps, and said a few words. The tombstone was in place and engraved with birth dates for Dick and Jean--no death dates, of course.
The luncheon wasn't scheduled until 12:30 and we went after to see Helen's sister in the Alzheimer Unit of Maris Grove, the huge and very expensive complex where they also had an apartment. Jean is sadly diminished,very frail, and seemed not to be perturbed by the loss of her husband of 52 years.
Went to the luncheon in another building. Before we ate--and by this time, I could have eaten the tablecloth--the same priest cousin spoke...at length. I was taken aback at the militaristic tone of his talk. Being comfortably irreligious, I had forgotten how fervent so many of the clergy seem to be about those who were once in uniform. Dick was in combat in the Korean war and the priest alluded to this several times, including, of course, the obligatory reverent "thanks" for his "service." He also managed to work in a number of reference to Catholic piety, so one would never imagine that Dick wasn't a believer.
Anyway, the lunch was the usual buffet--bread, rolls, lunch meat, potato salad, and so on--uninspiring, but tasty enough and I was starved. After we ate, Dick's four children each reminisced about their Dad and tears and laughter prevailed.
We then went with the family to the B.'s apartment--bright, spacious, and very, very expensive--had an ale, stayed until about 4:00, then drove down to Betty's for dinner. She served subs and "Irish matzo." We stayed until about 8:30, then left.
We were all in bed by 9:30; I gave my two female guests some Ativan--I have a whole stockpile--to soothe them to sleep. Nancy's plane leaves at 7:03 and she and Larry are on their way to the airport now. I got up to say goodbye to her--it was so much fun to have her here--and am now awaiting Larry's return.
Today, we're invited up north for lunch, Betty included, so that will top off a nice interlude.
2 comments:
My mother-in-law is fairly far gone in Alzheimer's. About every other time we visit, she wants to know where her husband is (who's been dead for about 15 years). When freshly reminded of her widowhood, she's usually upset ... but it doesn't last long; she forgets again quickly. She's neither combative nor unpleasant, but she's so very, very confused. Basically, she has no data. It might be that Jean, whom you described in your post, may be not-very-upset because she may not really grasp what she's been told.
The Alzheimer's is a terrible, terrible thing.
Yes, "Basically, she has no data" seems an accurate overall description of the disease, Jim.
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