Sunday, May 06, 2007

I lost another 2.2 pounds, I'm happy to say. Counting from March 18, that's 7.4 pounds off. I have a long way to go, but now I can look forward to getting into the 180's, as well as the 10-pounds off milestone. I do have to remember that this is after 10 days, not 7. I'll resume going on Thursdays and have to be reconciled to not losing then.
Told Pat I'd like to have fish more often and he's okay with it as long as it's flounder for him, so I gave him that and I had my usual salmon .
I rented the DVD "The Queen" and we watched it last night. Enjoyed it--I hadn't realized it revolved around Princess Diana's death.
I'm now thinking about buying sleeping pills. I've developed a horrible sleep--or non-sleep--pattern recently: I fall asleep easily, but wake up between 1 and 3 am to go to the bathroom, then can't get back to sleep. I toss and turn for several hours, finally drop off, then when I wake at my usual time (5 to 5:30), I want to stay in bed. What's worse is that when I'm awake in the middle of the night, I start worrying and obsessing over things and I get depressed and unhappy.
I think this is part of what I see as my unfortunate emotional cycle: I reach a high when things go wonderfully well and all seems the way it should be (see yesterday's entry), then I slide into a low and start regarding mine as a wasted life. I'm an old lady, my husband is sick, Mother's Day is coming and 3/4ths of my children won't be here, I haven't gotten the income tax done, I have to deny myself food, I don't like having the cleaners here, I still haven't finished clearing the weeds out of the flower bed, and so on and on.
Of course, it doesn't matter that nothing is different from when I was marveling over how lucky I am--attitude is everything*. The one saving grace is that I know this will pass, and I'll be able to bring myself out of it before too long.
*Look up "Richard Cory," one of my favorite lesser poems.

3 comments:

iloveac said...

No Richard Cory copy cats please!

I identify with what you said and I truly believe it is the lack of sleep. A solid night's sleep and we can handle most anything.

I think as we age sleep problems become more of a problem...not for everyone, but definitely some.

Have you noticed sleep disturbance since taking the new medicine...just a thought?

You need something to make you LOL.....The Queen was good, but BORAT will make you LOL...i.e.if you don't get offended by it. Try it. Small doses.

EBJ said...

Dear Mimi,
Your twin is feeling pretty down too.
I am sad because 1/4th of my children will never be with me for Mothers day. Really, Jay has been clogging up my thoughts for the past few days and I did not equate it with Mothers Day. I will only see Carolyn next week.
Why don't you try Dramamine for sleep? It is an over the counter med for seasickness etc. I used to take 1/2 tab. Now I just take an Ativan if I can't sleep.

Mimi said...

Betty: The Dramamine is a good idea. I'm going out to get some before dinner. I'm afraid of the Ativan, although I have plenty.
I think of Jay so often, dear sister, and next week or so will stop off at Laurel Memorial.
Pat: My friend in Delaware, Lynne, who reads my blog, but comments only on private e-mail, just sent me a message saying essentially the same as you about the new medication. However, I do think I've had this problem before the Crestor. And, believe me, Pat, I wasn't suggesting I'd imitate Richard Cory--but isn't it a good poem?

Wednesday

Busy, but not in a good way. I'm sure nobody else would want to read it, but I've elaborated on my entry a few spots down entitled &...