I am SO grateful for yesterday's comment from my beautiful, dear, one-and-only twin sister. It really gave me a lift and yes, made me determined to get right back on the WW bandwagon. Now honesty (I wish I hadn't resolved to be so honest!) requires that I confess to last night's deviation: After meeting a former colleague for lunch up in Lawrenceville (salata portobello, but also indulged in dipping a roll in doctored oil), I didn't get home until about 4:00. Really didn't feel like making dinner, so I gave Pat soup and had odds and ends: spaghetti squash, acorn squash, baked beans, and dump soup. My downfall? Instead of popcorn, started on extra-dark pretzels with my wine, then went for the gumdrops. Really mad at myself when I got up this morning, but with Betty's comment, have revived. YES, I'm going to make it!
Excercise this morning, then our usual Wednesday dinner out with friends. Will report on my meal and later choices tomorrow.

What a letdown! I lost only A HALF POUND after a week of adhering--in the main--strictly to the WW program. Wha' hoppened?? Dunno, it just did.
So I'm still not in the 180's, the lousy half-pound brought me only to 190.6. This is terrible and I'm getting very discouraged. Just to put a lid on it, I lost my WW book, which always kept in my purse. Why did I put that in italics? Have no idea what I hit and don't know how to change it back.
I can recover from my down only by imagining my self six months or so from now, when I would have lost a whole bunch of weight. I'm picturing myself reading this entry and smiling happily, knowing the NEXT week brought me back to the path of virtue and weight loss.
That "morality" wording again...

Ouch! I fell off the wagon yesterday--late in the day, when most of my transgressions happen. Just was drawn by those damn gumdrops and gobbled about ten large ones. Now, the next day, of course, I feel guilty and regretful. I had been so good and I go to weigh-in tomorrow. Sigh...
Just take a glance at that paragraph and note those words. It seems we automatically use the language of morality to describe our weight-loss experiences. Overweight and over-eating are so entangled in the idea of right and wrong--it's disturbing to realize that. May have something to do with the constant bombardment of attractive, slim people on T.V., in print advertising, and everywhere else as the ones who really matter, the "good" ones, the standard people, whereas the huge percentage of those overweight are invisible--too horrible to look at, and "bad" to boot, I guess.
Well, the hell with it. The lousy gumdrops were just gumdrops and I'll go on from here. Unfortunately, I don't feel as if I've lost any this week, which is kind of depressing. If I haven't, I'm just going to have to fine-tune the diet.
Had grouper for dinner last night. Never tried it before and probably never will again. It's about the most tasteless, bland, and blah fish I ever ate. Sure, you could dress it up with all kinds of topping, etc., but if you have to do that, why not just have salmon or swordfish, both of which are so yummy they just need a little lime or lemon juice?
Will go with Susan and Leslie this morning for exercise at 8. Less than twenty-six hours to weigh-in!

Yesterday, went up to Alison's after lunch to cut holly (she and Mike have a huge tree, heavy with berries). Grandson Joel and precious Joely came and we went to Tootie's, a little luncheonette in New Egypt, for dinner. What to order from the standard little luncheonette menu, which included chopped sirloin smothered in gravey, fried seafood platter, and chicken parm replete with 3 pounds of cheese? I settled on Caesar salad with chicken, which was pretty okay, but wasn't like an Caesar I ever ate. It was made not with romaine lettuce, but with packaged iceberg festooned with carrot shavings; included grape tomatos and cucumber, which Caesar doesn't, and was covered with some kind of bottled dressing bearing only a passing nod to a real Caesar's. Instead of strips of grilled chicken resting on top, there were little chicken chunks surely cut off a roast chicken mixed through. When I mildly commented on the non-Caesar aspects, the waitress assured me that the restaurant across the street makes it the same way. I was so amused I shut up and ate the stuff and, you know what? It tasted good. I was hungry, something I often have a problem with on WW, and that made it a good meal. As the French or some people say: "Appetite is the best sauce." Well, that's a paraphrase, but the sentiment is, of course, true. When you're hungry, it makes the food taste good, I don't care what it is.

Kept nicely on program yesterday. It was easy because I was busy: Had a doctor's appointment in the morning (flu and pnemonia shots), shopped in the afternoon, and had a meeting in the evening. I'm convinced that simply being absorbed in what you're doing--out of the house or in--is key to weight loss. Nothing is more disastrous to a diet than boredom, at least for me.
Gave Pat something else and had a vegetarian dinner last night. It may seem bizarre to others, but I liked it: fixed my nightly onions, peppers, mushrooms, and garlic in oil and enjoyed that, plus leftover peas and applesauce, and half a baked potato.
After walking with Susan, I'll go to the supermarket to get something for dinner. I've been on a salmon kick lately and, hey, that ain't bad. May try fresh tuna or something else, though. I LOVE swordfish, but wouldn't you know, that's one of the most points- (and calorie) pricey fish. I gravitate toward high-cal foods; guess that's why I'm 60 pounds overweight.
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Went Christmas shopping at Hamilton Mall yesterday and had the foresight to bring my WW "Getting Started" book, which list points values of common foods. It also has an ethnic foods section, and I chose Japanese. Had California roll and other vegetarian sushi. It was delicious and only 6 points. Before I got home, stopped at Acme and bought flounder for Pat, salmon, broccoli, and a variety of squash for me. Had a cup of the butternut squash for a snack--a point, but worth it.
Went to the new WW center in Manahawkin, too--first day they were open--and bought a points calculator for sister Betty for Christmas. They'll have meetings 7 days a week, so if I have to miss here, I could attend the next day there.
Incidentally, this blog constitutes a real incentive to stay on program for me. Last night, I was attacked by the urge to have gumdrops (yes, they're in the house--husband snack), but remembering my determinatiion to be honest here, I knew I'd have to report it. I successfully met the challange, didn't have them, and went to bed happy.

Going out to dinner last night was no problem: I ordered a Caesar salad with grilled chicken, using 10 points. It was delicious and I ate every bite. After an enjoyable evening with our friends, I had my popcorn and wine, and...and...and...
Well, I deviated a bit from the straight and narrow. I just felt like more after the p. and w. Rebelliously, I poured myself a second glass of Country Red (a semi-sweet; I alternate that with White Zinfandel and Cream Sherry) and had probably 3 points of pretzels, too. Okay, I'll draw from the 35 extra points per week I get to use as I please, so I'm all right. Just have to be careful about nightime eating--my downfall, as it is with most of the overweight people I know. The rule I did (and do) break is the "no more than 4 glasses of wine a week" one. I look forward to my 4 oz. at night and I'm going to continue to drink it--so there!
Went with Susan for our usual brisk walk this morning, so am getting the exercise in faithfully.
If I can fit it in after Christmas shopping (must send to Japan and Singapore very soon), will get fish at the supermarket for dinner.
LOTS of parties and get-togethers coming up this month, of course, plus my birthday, which is 3 weeks away. Must concentrate and keep on program.