(Darn, I experienced one of my infrequent restless nights. Tossed and turned and slept only fitfully. I'll try to nap this afternoon.)
Walked Kimball, had breakfast, then did the three-bus routine: Ventura city bus at 9:10; Santa Barbara bus at 9:45; SB city bus at whenever, which arrives at Betty's place at 11:30. Usually. But Hitchcock Road was being torn up for repairs, so was closed to traffic. I alit a block and a bit away and walked there, to find Betty waiting outside.
We didn't want to walk up the messy, dusty road, so just went, as we often do, to the Natural Cafe a short distance away. After, we went back to Betty's to play gin rummy. Betty wanted me to stay for the monthly "birthday party" at the rec room, but I just didn't want to. It's a long enough day as it is and, frankly, I'm not crazy about the people there. Oh, I know if I tried to get to know them, I might change my mind, but they seem like upper-middle-class bores to me and I don't want to make the effort.
After our card game, I told Betty I had to go to catch the 2.20 bus back to Ventura. She walked me part of the way and I did the reverse of the three-bus routine, arriving back in Ventura about 4:00. While I was riding, I noticed a text message from my tenant back in Jersey, Eileen. I was so sorry to be told that my Sweetwater Drive neighbor, Judy K., has died. I knew she had a very aggressive cancer, but wasn't aware she was so close to death. Called neighbor, Susan, who said she was about to let me know and we talked for some time. Darn, I wish I had had time to see Judy and Roman when I was visiting in November. I'll send Roman a note.
I got off at one end of Main and walked to the library, then hopped on yet another bus and got home about 5:00. Niece Carolyn called me and we had a long, long talk, about her mother and my sister. Carolyn is an incredibly warm and loving daughter and does so much. I'm afraid that's always the way: the daughters are the major--sometimes the exclusive--caregivers and the sons--? That varies, but usually not by much.
I told Carolyn I think the most profound--and heart-breaking--thing is a kind of fundamental change in Betty's emotional state. It's very hard to define, but she seems to have grown a kind of ice shield around them; she still gets annoyed, but it passes quickly (she used to be able to hold a grudge for years) and still can be pleased, but only mildly. All the essential her just seems to be dwindling into something vague and less tangible. She's fading away, but to where?
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