As always when I go to Santa Barbara, it was a long, long day. Left at 9:00 and, as usual, got to Betty's at 11:30. I had made turkey breast sandwiches for our lunch and we ate, then, as usual, played Sorry!, Chutes and Ladders, and double solitaire.
After the boring kids' games, I couldn't stand another minute of it, so I suggested we sit on the balcony and chat. We did, but as usual, with a lot of confused and confusing talk. After, I walked down to Whole Foods to replenish the beer supply (for Carolyn and me, when I get there again), then we played another game. I said goodbye about 3:15 and, after three buses, got home a bit before 6:00.
I called Jim, as I told him I'd remind him about out lunch date (not a date date) today, in the middle of my complex. He had already remembered, but we chatted for a bit. He isn't the cheeriest person in the world, but he's lucid and it was a great relief.
I was sent a YouTube to a link to my great-grandson's graduation from Bordentown High. They had had a "virtual" one, which I viewed, but this was actual in this strange, oddly different world. It was held outside, with the mask/six-feet apart thing in place, of course. I just skipped ahead to hear his name and see him walk into the frame to accept his diploma.
Betty had asked me to call when I got home and I did, to hear her latest complaints about a non-existent situation. Carolyn then called and we had a long talk. I assured her that--from Betty's perspective--we had had a good day and she was happy to hear it. Carolyn told me that my brother, Frank, in Alameda, who also has Alzheimer's, is much worse. He now has to be bathed and his care is getting to be too much for his daughters and their families. They're now looking for a facility for him. His late wife, Marybeth, died of Lewy Body dementia with similar symptoms. She was in Mercer Central, run by the Sisters of Mercy, where several of us visited her. She died a few years ago.
Talk about depressing...
2 comments:
Yes, Rosemary. It must feel like you have your siblings, yet you don't really have them. I think it's very hard to interact with people experiencing dementia ....in any form for long periods. It's draining on the listener and I hope you don't judge yourself if you ever have negative feelings. I know how I get when I'm trying to be patient and understanding with folks here. No easy way to handle this disease.
Truer words were never spoken, Pat. Yes, I sometimes feel guilty if I'm less than patient with Betty, but I know it's the disease, not her--and not me--that's the problem. No solution to this; I just try to remember we still have some enjoyable time together.
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