Laws

Yes, Housman's sentiments in that poem are mine, exactly. Those laws are not my laws and yesterday made me feel these words:

I, a stranger, and afraid 

In a world I never made.

It was just that nothing much good happened. Betty called to read me some things in which I had no interest, I expressed my discouragement because of what follows below, and as ever, she immediately turned back to her ten-year-old concerns. 

I changed the passwords on my bank accounts and Vanguard, as well as other sites, but I have a lot more to go. I sent to the first few groups my new email address, which was tedious because most of the addresses didn't transfer over. 

At 2:00, as instructed, I called the attorney about our dispute with management about the new (extra) utilities bill. We didn't even talk the whole half hour; he said we didn't  have a case, even though he agreed this was a rent increase in disguise. He did say there were two ways we could react: Demand an accounting every month of the aggregate utility charges, to check the percentage we're being charged and simply don't pay the bill, as they can't evict at this time. When I questioned that, he said it wouldn't lower one's credit rating. 

However, I'm not going to do either. When I wrote the above information to the others, I said I was no longer going to spend time or energy on it. Another problem cropped up that threw me for a loop: Eileen, my tenant in Jersey texted me that the air had again stopped. I had intended to ask Chilly Willie to start on it, anyway, but I thought it would last long enough to get him there. Eileen was rather testy about it and I offered to pay for her to go to a motel tonight. She turned this down and I just hope William (that's his real name) will do the damn thing today .

Anyway, after all that, I had to get out. I bused to the mall/transit center, intending to go to town, but instead, walked up to Lowe's to look for a filing cabinet. They don't carry them. Went to a few other stores, but didn't see what I wanted, so took the 10 home.

I called Suzanne to see if she wanted to sit out front and chat and she did. It helped a bit to do that. I had called Mary Hoffman to chat and she called me back about 6:30. Ellen then called and she had had a lousy day, too, so we commiserated with each other, which helped a bit, too.
I guess the only good thing that happened was that the printer is working again. Long story I won't go into, but I'm in such a low mood, I'm doubting if it will stayed fixed.
(I added the poem as another entry here.)

The Laws of God, The Laws of Man

by A. E. Housman (1859-1936)
The laws of God, the laws of man,
He may keep that will and can;
Not I: let God and man decree
Laws for themselves and not for me;
And if my ways are not as theirs
Let them mind their own affairs.
Their deeds I judge and much condemn,
Yet when did I make laws for them?
Please yourselves, say I, and they
Need only look the other way.
But no, they will not; they must still
Wrest their neighbor to their will,
And make me dance as they desire
With jail and gallows and hell-fire.
And how am I to face the odds
Of man’s bedevilment and God’s?
I, a stranger and afraid
In a world I never made.
They will be master, right or wrong;
Though both are foolish, both are strong.
And since, my soul, we cannot fly
To Saturn nor to Mercury,
Keep we must, if keep we can,
These foreign laws of God and man.

---

Home > Hobbies

Beans And Birthdays

The hacking horror continues to plague me, but I think I'm making progress. Ellen called to tell me older son said I should change other passwords, such as on my bank accounts and investment sites. Okay, will do.

I had soaked my beans overnight and put them in the slow cooker with chicken broth and veggie "juice." (I freeze the water in which I cook some things and use them in other dishes. Why? Because so many of the vitamins and minerals get leached out and I can retain them that way.) 

Betty called several times, as usual, first to tell me she couldn't find something, then to tell me again, then to say she had found it. Nancy called to ask if I wanted to do a virtual Happy Hour yesterday. I begged off, though--I'd like to if we could see each other on Zoom or Facetime, but she doesn't know how and I really don't enjoy it when it's just by phone. I suggested next week and maybe we can connect visually.

Shari, from Dudley House docents, called to say she had gotten a bogus message, too. We chatted for fifteen or so; she and Ken are still stamp aficionados and active in a variety of civic endeavors. 

I went over my past blog entries and picked out the ones that mention Tristan, starting with August of 2007, when he was born. I transferred it to a Word document and Suzanne printed it for me, as my printer seems to be kaput. (See yesterday's blog post.)

Walked to the P.O. and sent it along with a card, a tee shirt, and some dough to that sweet kid--entering teendom!--and hope it gets there by the second. (It's incredible to realize I not only remember his Dad's thirteenth birthday, but his grandmothers, too.)

I walked to the Market for produce, then took the bus part of the way home. Combined with my afternoon excursion, I think I got my daily five miles in. That one was a part-bus, part shank's mare trip to Office Max to look at both their printers and their filing cabinets. I was pleased to hear I could order it on-line and have it delivered free, but I'm not sure if I care for all theirs; I'm going to look further.

Took the bus to the foot bridge street, then walked over that home. On my way, Betty called yet again and we chatted a bit. 

I watched the last, plus "bonus material," of A Beautiful Mind. Boy, talk about nostalgia:  Princeton U.  plays a major part, of course, and to see again that historic and lovely campus--the library, the dining hall, the chapel, and all the rest--just thrilled me. California is wonderful, but I sometimes think "historic" means it were built last year. 

Re the subject, John Nash: I was shocked to read that both he and his wife were killed in a crash five years ago on the Jersey Turnpike. Also, their only child, a son, suffers from the same schizophrenia his father did. Sad and tragic.

    

 

Grass

Ellen called me in the morning and we spent a lot of time devoted to my electronic problems. My darling daughter walked me through the email morass, so I was finally able to switch my gmail address to the preferred one, which is just my name and the @. She's not a teacher for nothing. With great patience, she guided me through the process, commiserated with me over the fact I've probably lost all my Comcast messages, and what's even more important, reminded me that grass is real. 

And all this electronic stuff isn't. 

And the Buddhists burn their houses down every three years, so as not to get attached to material things.  

I needed to hear all that, seriously. And, if I'm not quite walking on air yet, it lifted my spirits enormously. No wonder I was so down: I had been sitting in front of a screen, trying this and going there, fretting about my inadequacy, and feeling helpless and what's more, worthless. I was holed up inside and that's always a bad situation for me. I need to walk and after lunch, I did. 

Took the bus to town and walked down Main, stopping in here and there. I bought two more DVDs--dogs, I'm pretty sure. One is called Crash, with Sandra Bullock and the other Nurse Betty. I bought that only because I thought Betty would get a kick out it. I think it's a comedy, although--geez, the title--maybe it's porn. (In which case, she'd really get a kick out of it!) Anyway, I'll watch it first.

While on the bus home, Jenny, from the Bar Association, called to say she had gotten an attorney for us. She wanted to give me the name, but it was too damn noisy, I said I'd call her this morning.

I stopped at Von's for an unmentionable item (okay, toilet paper) and got some dough to put in Tristan's card. Home, I cut up my mushrooms and roasted them--so good. I had them with tilapia, spaghetti squash, and the last of the cabbage. 

El called in the evening again and we went over more about my email woes. I've decided, just for now, to keep both my gmail accounts and just give most new contacts the simpler one, then eliminate the other.

I continued my little Tristan thing: copying out what I mention about him on my blog, starting with the day after his birth. I'm hoping Suzanne will print it, then I'll put it in with his present. This one is a lot longer than the rest and it assured me that grass is real and so is he.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Little Tristan Edward Phillips is just beautiful! I got up there about 1:00 after finishing some chores at home. Found Jen, Joel, Joely, Alison, and J. and J.'s friend, Jason, in the large, comfortable "birthing room" at Capitol Health Center (used to be Mercer) Hospital. His Mommy was holding Tristan, but let me take him when I got there. As soon as I walked in, Joely said excitedly, "That's my little brother, that's my little brother!"
Unlike my mostly bald babies, Tris has a respectable amount of hair (dark brown, like his Dad's) and ruddy skin. It's hard to tell at this stage but he seems to have "Byrne eyes"--that is, deep-set, as my father's were. He really is an attractive baby. He slept a lot, but also cried lustily, and seemed to enjoy being passed from person to person. When his Mommy held and talked to him, he looked straight at her and made little cooing sounds--so adorable!
Jen's sister had already been in, and her parents were due at 4:30 or so. Of course, Alison and I took pictures. Loved the ones of big Joel, Joely, and little Tristan sitting together--Joely greatly enjoyed holding him. At one point, he said, "Look at this, Mimi" and stroked Baby's cheek, making him turn that way! (Gee, Tris can do tricks.)

Barely Functioning*

What a lousy morning. As many know at this point, having received a bogus message from me, I've been hacked. I was advised to change my password, did so, and now Comcast Xfinity doesn't recognize me or believe I have an account with them. Therefore, I can't get into my email. I spent hours on the phone with Comcast and failed to get a single human to talk to. My son reminded me that I have some kind of piggy-back arrangement with my former next-door neighbor. I called him on both the numbers I have, but he hasn't gotten back to me yet (but see below). 

This has just thrown me for a loop. Son suggested I activate my gmail address, which I have. I hated to do that, but I did. I'm not even sure if it's okay to write the address here or not, so I won't.

One bright spot was Ellen coming over for lunch. We ate in what's getting to be my regular table, out near the pool. El also gifted me with some wonderful produce from her garden.

Those are brownish tomatoes and purple peppers in the upper basket, cucumbers and cherry tomatoes in the lower--what a bonanza! 

Another reasonably hopeful happening: I got a call from "Jenny" at the Bar Association to say she probably had a person who would consult for the $35 a half hour. Today, I'll get in touch with the rest--but by gmail!--and let them know. I want to meet with them to discuss first--plus they'll chip in with the dough.

Got a call from my high school pal, Jeanne D.P. She's now in Jersey, having come from Florida, and is waiting for one of her grandsons to drive her to Lake George, in New York, where she'll reunion with her--uh, "intimate friend," John.

Dr. Jennings called, I told her about my skin problems, and she'll send a referral for me to see a dermatologist . That's the last thing I'm thinking about now.

I called Pat Rogers and we had a good long talk for more than an hour--it was so much fun to reconnect with her. We do read each other's blog every day, but I like catching up more or less in person, too. We think alike in so many ways; sure, in some, we don't, but it would be a dull world if there were no honest disagreements. Anyway, we're both south Jersey and HSHS girls and that's not going to change.

Betty called four times in between all this. Someone had sent her a list of those she graduated with from Miseracordia and she wanted to read it to me. However, she couldn't find it. Her daughter or the woman who comes in to play games with her must have taken it. Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what happened. 

*It seems to be a given that a clerk or cashier must mouth the meaningless "How are you today?" to all customers and I often answer with the title phrase above. Due to my twisted sense of humor, it amuses me that they almost invariably come back with something like "that's good." Clearly, they don't give a rodent's rear if I'm good, bad, or on the point of death, and why should they? I wish they'd just say "hello" or "Yeats is a better poet than Frost," or whatever.  

-----------------------------------

Okay, what happened just now (6:30 am): Frank D., my neighbor called. He told me he's the one who had ended my account with Comcast because he got the bogus message. We changed my ID and email address and tried to get me back on. We succeeded--but only as a new account, so all my earlier email are not accessible. Boy, was I disappointed. Frank asked me to drop the account and go to email, which I will. I'll just have to keep trying to get to Comcast Xfinity to try to retrieve my messages of several years.    

Wins And Losses

I'm up a little earlier than usual, as I was just awakened by a phone call from Laney AC in Little Egg; it's 5:30 am. (For me, that's no biggie, but for some--you know who you are--it would be greatly annoying.)  The AC guy will be there today, then they'll email me an estimate.

It was a better Sunday than most, early on, that is, maybe because I was proud of myself for relinquishing Facebook. Also, I had planned to do wash, and I did, two of them. In addition, I cut up my nice cabbage (as opposed to a cabbage with attitude?), cored and quartered, two apples and put them in the slow cooker. It was good with my salmon for dinner.
I called my cousin, Marifran (my Cincinnati Sis), and left a message. I plan to call a cousin on the other side, too. (No, not that other side, the maternal side.)
Did two loads of wash, lunched, then walked to Smart 'n' Final for blueberries and so on. Walked part of the way back, then caught a bus.
I did some of what I had planned for the patio. Now that the trim above it painted, I wanted to move all the movables back to where they were. I washed my little pretend girl with Suzanne's hose and put her and her chair back. Replaced the large container of succulents, but after that, decided to skip the rest until today. 
You win a few, you lose a few, I guess, and here are my losses:
--My printer still won't print, although it has plenty of ink. I think the ink nozzle has to be cleaned, but I don't know how to do it.

--I was disappointed in A Beautiful Mind, of which I watched an hour last night. Loved the many scenes on the Princeton U. campus--you just can't come close to that in California--but I thought Russel Crowe's accent was poorly done; John Nash was not just American, but from West Virginian. I didn't expect Crowe to talk corn pone, but the Brit accent sneaked in too often. (Anthony Hopkins does a much better Yank.)*

--I still haven't heard from the Bar Association.

--I lazed around too much in the afternoon yesterday.

--I sat down to order my new filing cabinet from Wayfair and, after searching and searching for the one I wanted, called them. Damn, it's been discontinued!

My wins:

--I found Fracture on-line and sent for it.

--I worked on a little project I have in mind for great-grandson Tristan, who will be 13 next month.

--Ellen's coming today and we'll have lunch together.*

--I'm alive and well, the best win of all.

*El told me that Anthony Hopkins lives in Ojai! Where she does! Where I could run into him, maybe! WOW!

 

Telephone

Early on, I called Laney AC to ask if somebody had yet gotten to my house in Little Egg for an estimate, but was greeted with a message saying they're only there M-F. Left a message.

Called Nancy and we chatted for some time. She's having more physical difficulty, including shortness of breath. That's worrisome, as her chronic Anemia is okay. I didn't want to mention it, and I didn't, but I wonder if her weight is a factor. She was quite a bit overweight the last time I saw her and, since being so isolated (she stays in virtually all the time), I believe it's increased.
Called Betty, as I hadn't heard from her in awhile. We chatted a bit, then hung up, after which she called me three more times before 11:00. Her confusion, reflected in garbled speech and even more garbled thought processes, seems to be considerably worse. Shortly after her last call, I was pleased to get a call from Helen C. We talked for some time; she still intends to call Betty to see if their falling out can be forgotten.
In between all this, I started cleaning the kitchen counters, sink, stove, and so on. Then my cousin, Sally, called. I was delighted to hear from her. Sally is just two weeks older than my brother, Frank, and the (adopted) daughter of my Aunt Marie. She lives in San Diego, was widowed eighteen months ago, and we have a long, long history. I hadn't talked to Sally for several years and hadn't seen her since Carolyn's wedding twenty years ago. 
Can she talk? Ha--she's about the champion talker of all time, and I know some contenders. She called at 1:10, as I was shredding my lettuce for lunch, and we talked until 2:30! But I'm glad and I hope to get down to see her one of these days.
After lunch, I walked to Telephone Road, then to Portola Street, then got a bus to WinCo. Bought fajitas, spaghetti squash, grapes, spinach, and lots of others. I just barely caught the number 11 to the transit center, then the 21 to Victoria. (Gawd--why do I keep listing my damn buses and what I bought at the supermarket? I don't know, but I just want to.)
I finally did what I've been meaning to for some time--I posted the following on Facebook. I think it's self-explanatory.

SO LONG, FOR AWHILE...

Snooky Lanson used to sing that on "Your Hit Parade" and I'm borrowing the phrase to remove myself from Facebook. I'm going to stop wasting time on the trivial, the trite, and the tedious, but most of all, the sanctimonious crapola it seems to bring out in people. Oh, I'm not excusing myself from all that, but I can do something about it, and here it is: Goodbye.