Home Again

I tidied up a bit at Ellen's before the Access Van came. I left some stuff, including my little cart, as I'll see El on Sunday; we're tentatively planning lunch and a movie. Got home about 3:30 and put things away, then went to Von's for lettuce and lunchmeat, as Jim will be here for lunch today. 

Suzanne came over about 5:30 to show me pictures of her niece's wedding in Seattle and discuss the topic mentioned below. Had a good dinner of tilapia, yams, and spinach, cleaned up, then showered, washed my hair, and vegged out for the evening.

Note: Following is an elaboration--although not a full one--of the Vickie/Mary saga. There's some question as to who will succumb first to either disease or dementia--and there's no good answer.

Vickie had called me in the morning to ask if I could be with Mary today (Saturday) while she has yet another medical procedure, this one all morning. The usual caregiver, Liz, had a problem--and is a problem, unfortunately, but I don't want to repeat what Vickie told me. She thought possibly I could alternate with Suzanne. I told her I was expecting a lunch guest (Jim), but would be glad to cover the "first shift," so to speak, so 8:45 to 11:00. She called me later to say Suzanne couldn't do it, but had suggested Vickie ask me to be with Mary from 10 to 11 while Vickie walks on the beach and prays. Of course, I'll be glad to.

I don't know what's going to happen with this sad situation. Mary's dementia is worsening (well, the damn thing doesn't get better) and Vickie's breast cancer is by no means cured. The big problem is that they have no money. Luckily, Vickie has medical insurance (she works for the county), but Mary has none, so there can never be any adequate care for her. Hmm...Suzanne's suggestion about praying is interesting--but maybe Vickie won't be praying in the right direction. There is only one god in this country and his name is Mammon.   

Out And About In Ojai

I was pleased when Jim called in the morning (7:30) to discuss an article on science I had given him. He also asked if I was available for lunch on Saturday. I said I'd see if Ellen was coming over then or on Sunday, but come to think of it, why not have her over, too? I called her later--about 7pm--but they were at a movie and she said she'd call this morning.

I set out after breakfast, thinking to walk to town, but the temperature was already in the eighties, so instead, I took the "trolley" (really, a tricked out kind of mini-bus), instead. Since they're part of the Ventura County Transportation System, it was free for me. I stopped at a few shops, but didn't buy anything until I got to a used book store affiliated with the library. Bought two DVDs (I can't help myself!), then went next door to the library.

The Ojai Library reminds me wonderfully of the old Ventnor Library, which was on the boardwalk when I was a kid--to me, it was a cathedral. Ojai's is small, carpeted, with round tables and captain chairs here and there. The building has housed the library since 1927;  an addition was added in 1979, but it retains its comfortable, old time flavor. I sat there happily for an hour or so, dipping here and there into a bio of Maria Callas. 

Took the trolley back and had a late lunch. El had left a lot of lettuce--more than enough for several days--and I picked some of her cherry tomatoes, added the grapes I had brought, then realized I had no protein to add. I found a can of corned beef hash in Ellen's emergency supplies and put a few spoonfuls of that in--unusual, but it tasted good.

Called Jim and told him to come for lunch on Saturday. Even if El wants to drop off my stuff then, she can stay for lunch, too. Otherwise, maybe she could bring it on another day. I'm going to just put stuff I don't need right away for her to bring. Noreen called and we made a date for Monday lunch at Dargan's in town. 

Wednesday

After breakfast and attending to my duties (kitty-feed and litter box), I left for the bus stop at 9:01. It's a bit more than a mile and I thought I could get there in twenty minutes, but I just barely made it. I had to run the last few yards, frantically waving my arms to alert the driver. The Ojai buses run only every hour and I would have had a big problem if I hadn't gotten that one. 

Luckily, I got to the transit center just in time to get the 11 bus to Market Street; walked from there to Rolling Oaks Radiology and--wonders will never cease--I was more than an hour early, but was taken anyway. It was quick and easy and I was out of there and walking to the shopping center nearby at the same time my original appointment was.

Picked up peanuts, another pair of glasses, and some marinade I like, then hopped the bus to the center, transferred to the 6, walked home, and pulled together a few more things to take back to Ellen's, including my bed pillow. I'm just not comfortable with big, puffy ones--I've had this flat, nondescript pillow for years and I just like to sleep on it. Also packed up a chicken leg and thigh, a package of frozen vegetables, and some grapes an tangerines. Rang Suzanne's bell and welcomed her back from Seattle, where she attended yet another wedding. We exchanged a few words and I'll see her when I get home. 

Access Van came at 3:45 and I got back to El's at 4:30. Called her after dinner to be told she and Greg were about to go on a walk. El and I made tentative plans for the weekend. She has some plump and beautiful cherry tomatoes growing and I intend to put them in my salad today. 

Last night, I watched part of a ten-year-old movie called Contagion on Netflix (Matt Damon, Kate Winslett, Jude Law,  and others), which is oddly prophetic of present-day CO-VID.   

Ojai

Packed for my little trip, then ran over to Von's for a few things. I made a few annoying "business" calls and fooled around on the laptop. I wanted to get at least a short walk in, so went around the complex, which probably totaled a mile or so.

The Access Van got here about 3:45, picked up another passenger, dropped her off, then deposited me at Ellen's at 4:30. As I approached the house, I was greeting by a welcoming committee of one:

...and here, I wanted to add a picture of one of the kitties peering out from the blinds, but for some reason, I can't retrieve the pic from the phone, although I've tried everything--drives me nuts, but either Gwennie or Cessy will have to be imagined. 

I unpacked and settled myself in, then took a walk around the neighborhood. There's a place called Acacia Mansion right down the street, a huge, rambling house built in the twenties.  It had been a private home, built in 1929, a Krishnamurti spiritual center, and film locale. Most recently, it was a pricey hotel, but now the website says it's "permanently closed."

I found "Breaking Bad" on Netflix and, although the cast and script were entirely different--I guess this is a new season--I loved it, as I had the earlier ones when I was introduced to the show last year. Went to bed at my usual and slept well, although when I go home for a time today, I'm going to pack up my pillow and bring that. I called the Access Van to take me, as I'll have a lot to carry again. 

Tristan, K., Larry, Barbara, And Ishmael

Stripped the bed, washed the sheets, and re-made. After breakfast, I walked to the P.O. with the present for Tristan and the letter to Mr. K. I was prepared to have the latter cost up to twenty bucks and was amazed that it was only $3.39. Hey, no argument with that.

Did some computer stuff--if it's such a boon, why do our lives seem to be more, not less complicated than they used to be?  Dunno, but I can't get along without it. Impulsively, I called my brother, Larry, in Miami and we had a good talk. His Helen is sinking fast, I'm afraid; sometimes she doesn't know who he is. 

Showered, washed my hair, and prepared to meet Barbara out front. Instead of going to Aloha, we decided on Two Trees for lunch--and what a terrific time we had. We talked and talked and talked, interspacing our chatter with laughs and--I should be embarrassed to admit, but I'm not--salty language. Barbara just retired as CEO of the Ventura Fairgrounds and now acts in an advisory capacity. I was thrilled to learn she's also a patient of Dr. Babbitt's and what's more, she has the same phobia about dentistry I do. We stayed at Two Trees until 4:00, then split. 

When I got home, I took a nap, oddly enough. I also called Nancy, to whom I haven't talked to in an age. I thought she might now be able to meet me for lunch in Ojai. However, she has terrific fatigue, maybe because of her hemoglobin problem, so that seems to be out.

Must pack to get ready to go to Ellen's this afternoon. I asked the Access Van to get me there about 5:00, so I can feed the kitties dinner.     

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note to myself: And I Alone Survived, by Lauren Elder

"And I only am escaped alone to tell thee." -- Job [This quote from the Bible is that of Job's servants telling their master some very bad news. Melville uses it because Ishmael, the only survivor of the debacle, is at last healed and reconciled with God.]

Sunday

I aced the Sunday crossword. Instead of pleasing me, that seemed to emphasize how pathetic it is to think that means something. It doesn't.  Yes, that was the mood I was in and I think it was mostly because it was overcast. Called Betty, which added to my glumness. I'm hoping to be able to visit her the week after next when I get back from Ojai. Also called Muckie, but she didn't answer and I left a message. 

It helped a bit that I figured out--I hope--how to wrap great-grandson, Tristan's, birthday present. It's a baseball-style cap from California and I added some dough in the card. I then got a lift from seeing Tokyo son and adorable Mr. K. play a duet together at son's piano recital. At seven, K. is about as tall as my boys were at ten. I then sat down and wrote him a letter, enclosing some fish stickers I had picked up at the thrift store. Happily, that cheered me up and so did the sun coming out later. 

After lunch, I walked over the footbridge to the Hill Street branch of the library. I knew they aren't open on Sundays and I just wanted to return the Full Service (racy Hollywood) book. I was amazed and delighted to see that it was open--sort of. Reading the information on the window told me they had "Express Hours" on Sundays from 8am to 5 pm. This means, I discovered, that you can access the library with your card--which I did--and linger to read a bit--which I did--and borrow books--which I didn't, as I already have a mountain I haven't read yet. They also have a corner with a modest number of used books for sale; no staff, but there's a box for patrons to put their money in. I actually found a book I liked for a buck. It's called Something From the Oven/Reinventing Dinner in 1950s America. Honest and trustworthy as St. Theresa that I am, I put in my dollar. (Now wait: What did I say about already having a mountain of books...?)

From there, I took the 11 bus to the transit center/mall. I just didn't feel like continuing into town, so I went to Target. Picked up some toys for my grand-kitties (I'll be with them tomorrow) and three little containers for this and that. Went to Penney's and almost bought a new over-the-body bag. It's just as well I decided against it, as I really don't need it and I have enough stuff in my life.

Got home at 4:00 and cooked up a large bag of spinach. Reserved some for dinner and used my great little one-portion, lidded casserole dish for the rest, which I stowed in the freezer.  

Wash, Jim, And Harrison Ford

 Did two loads of wash--bleach and color--then walked to The Market after breakfast and bused home. I did some food prep--mainly chopped and froze onions--then got ready for lunch with Jim. I made sandwiches--grilled chicken--and put out bowls of grapes and peanuts. 

Jim came at 1:00, as usual, and we had an enjoyable lunch. I gave him a choice of wines--cabernet sauvignon and the pinot noir Vickie had given me--and he chose the latter. I had some, too, and we conducted our usual, wide-reaching discussions about subjects including Catholicism, academia, politics, and the state of the world in general. I walked him out at 4:00, picked up my mail, then got a call from Ellen, who asked what I wanted to have her stock in for my upcoming kitty-sitting at her place while she and Greg are in San Luis Obispo. We had a good talk and I'm looking forward to being there.

I'm watching a DVD called The Conversation, with Gene Hackman and an incredibly young Harrison Ford. It's actually not bad, but I looked it up and it's almost a half-century old--made in 1974. I had never even heard of it before, but I'm enjoying it.  

Note: Just to illustrate how how journalism has prostituted itself, here's the lead, large, and major frontpage headline of yesterday's  Ventura County Star:

Local roller skaters celebrate 2 years of friendship Today's lead, large, and major front page headline is: Kitten drama in Oxnard storm drain tugs at family's heart And for this I pay fifty bucks a month...am I nuts? (Don't answer that!)

Friday--And It's A Long One

Busy day, starting with my eye appointment and below is what I posted on Yelp, re my experience there. Yes, I have some nerve, but dammit, I'm getting less and less patient with medical providers and other "services."  So many seem not to have the slightest regard for the patient or customer--sadly, those words now seem interchangeable.  

After I walked out, I walked to the transit center, about a mile. It felt good, I guess because I was so fuming mad. Stopped at a shop and tried on a nice pair of green slacks; bought them. Bused home, had lunch, then went over to Vickie's at quarter of two. I Mary-sat until Vickie got back from her radiation appointment. Earlier, the two of them had gone to a service for Mary's niece, who died recently (of breast cancer, I'm afraid, which I hated to hear, especially for Vickie's sake.) I was interested to learn that the niece, Evie Y Barra, had been a writer and greatly enjoyed seeing her books on local history, which were in the apartment. Here are some of them:

(I wish I knew how to make them smaller and show them next to each other, but I don't.)

Another interesting thing was the little bird that relentlessly crashes into Vickie's glass patio door. Presumably, it thinks it's clear air and it keeps trying. It would fly into the glass several times, then go away for ten minutes or so, come back, and try again. 

Vickie got home about 3:30 and we enjoyed a glass of wine together (hers nonalcoholic) and some good talk. As I told her, Mary had been no problem at all; she talks a lot and I just responded as I do to Betty. Mary also colors in one of those books they sell with various pictures outlined. 

When I got home, I ran over to Von's for this and that. Ate late for me (6:30), but that's okay. Jim will be here for lunch today and I'm looking forward to some good talk with him, too. (Note: Didn't get to T.O.P.S. because of the !%*&$! eye thing, but weighed at home and stayed the same at 130.8.) 

Finally, here's my Yelp review: 

You wrote a review for Miramar Eye Specialists Medical Group

25 minutes ago

7/23/2021

I did something today for the first time in my eighty-four years: I walked out on a medical appointment. I had gone to Miramar before, but it's been several years. I had a 9:45 appointment and made sure to get there early enough to fill out the few papers required and submit the co-pay. I then waited. And waited. And... At 10:15, I went to the desk to remind them it was a full half-hour after I was scheduled.  I was given an indifferent, "well, they're busy." (Really? I thought they were back there playing cards or something.) I told the receptionist I'd wait another eight minutes. I actually gave them ten and at 10:30, a full 45 minutes after my appointment, I got up, asked for my co-pay back, and said I was switching to another provider. There was not even a hint of anything close to an apology, expression of regret, or acknowledgement that I had wasted my time. If there had been, it might have made a difference, but at this point, I'm finished with Miramar.

 

Thursday

Went to Pacific Therapy for my first P.T. appointment. I had written 10:40 down, but it was a t 10:20, so I was late, but no biggie, I guess. I like the therapist, Stacy, and the office people, too. We talked, Stacy evaluated me, and put me through some exercises. She also had me spend time on the Nu-Step, a contraption my friend, Pat, often mentions on her blog, but I had had no idea what it was. I really like it. I was taken aback to find the co-pay is twenty bucks--geez, my doctor is only five.

When I came out, I impulsively hopped a bus and went to Wal-Mart, where I picked up face scrub, a shirt, and a few other items. Took my BP, which was 108/76, I think okay. On my way back, I got a text from Vickie, asking if I could Mary-sit today, while she has radiation. I had to decline, as Barbara Quaid and I had a lunch date. However, I later got a text from Barb that she had to cancel; we'll get together on Monday, instead. Called Vickie back and I'll go over at five of two. Home, lunched, then rode to town. I just stopped in a few places, didn't buy anything, and bused home.

Called Jim and he'll come tomorrow (Saturday) for lunch. This morning, I have an eye appointment at 9:45, which is why I'm skipping T.O.P.S.

Wednesday

 Walked to The Market after breakfast for tomatoes, mushrooms, and a few other things; bused home. Unpacked when I got home, then took the cart over to Von's for paper goods. Had lunch, then did a fair amount of food prep.

Such as? Such as chunking three pounds of tomatoes, chopping onions, adding oil, vinegar, garlic, and Italian seasoning, and roasting. I do these every week or so and put it in my salad every day. And such as slicing the mushrooms, adding this and that and baking. 

Also made crystal pickles for the first time in many years. I want to serve them when I have Suzanne, Vickie, and Mary over for lunch. I had them years ago when I was in the Bucks County Postcard Card and we had a potluck picnic. Somebody brought them and I liked them so much, I asked for the recipe. It's pretty simple: just a matter of slicing thin cucumbers and onions, adding salt, then putting in the fridge for two hours. You add sugar and vinegar, mix, then freeze for a few days. Defrost and serve. It's very easy and everybody likes them.

For the first time in an age, I didn't go out after lunch--was busy with food prep and so on. Interestingly, I got an email from Primary Medical, telling me Dr. Jennings, whom I've "had" since I moved here, is no longer with the group. I have decide on a new doc and I think I'll take a guy this time--why not?

I go to P.T. this morning. I'll just walk down there--it's only two blocks away. Must remember to stop in the post office after, as I need a box for great-grandson, Tristan's, birthday present. I can't believe he'll be fourteen--and he's the younger one!

 

Tuesday

Spent an age trying to convert a scanned picture to a jpeg from PDF file--so annoying, but I finally did it. Now, of course, I forgot how I did it!

I PMed Jeff Ham, of Fractured Actors to ask if there was any movement toward a new production. He wrote back that he's working on something and will have an announcement soon. I've written some short plays and monologues I'd like him to see.

PMed Barbara Q. suggesting lunch and we'll go to the Aloha on Friday. I called Lora, who had been picking me up for T.O.P.S., that I won't be going either this Friday or next. I have an eye doctor appointment this Friday at 9:45 and lunch with Barb, so I just don't feel like rushing all over. Next Friday, I'll still be at Ellen's, so the hell with T.O.P.S. then, too. After lunch, I bused to town and just walked the Main Street route. Stopped in a few shops, but didn't buy anything. 

When I got home, Suzanne was outside talking to one of our young neighbors. This guy and his wife have an adorable one-year-old baby, who was toddling all over the place. I have an appointment to tour The TownHouse, where my friend, Joe, lives, and I told Ellen if I ever decide I want to be in a so-called "independent living" facility, that would be my choice. I definitely won't consider it until I think it's necessary; at this point, anyway, I want to live in a place with children.

Suzanne suggested we have our "Happy Hour," with our beers (hers non-alcoholic, of course) and we did. I showed her pics of Pasadena and we talked about both of our upcoming plans: She's going to her niece's wedding in Seattle from the 22nd to the 27th and I'll be kitty-sitting at Ellen's from the 27th to the 30th while she and Greg are in San Luis Obispo.    

Put in a color wash before breakfast. Called Betty at her (relatively) new place and was heartened that both employees I spoke with were warm and friendly. As for Betty, she was pleased to have seen me on television last night (sigh...). I do want to visit her soon.

My neighbor, Patrick, knocked on the door (why he never uses the bell is beyond me) and presented me with what they call a "sub" around here, really a sandwich on a roll. He said he had bought three and wanted to give two away. I just have no idea if he thinks I'm destitute or what. I believe he's religious in a fundamental way and I think it would be mean-spirited of me to refuse his occasional gifts. Still, I hope I'm not taking the food out of some homeless person's mouth. Actually, I don't think I am, as he also regularly collects and redeems empties and gives the money to the homeless. 

Ellen picked me up at 2:30 and off we went to the dentist's. The technician, Sarah, made impressions, both top and bottom. It wasn't at all painful, just slightly uncomfortable. I then talked to Dr. Babbitt and we changed my extraction appointment to August 16. At the August 4 appointment, I'll just examine the temporaries and approve them, I guess. 

Julie C. picked me up for the Soaring Spirits dinner at Stone Fire Grill and I had the best time ever. We all greeted each other with hugs, sat in convivial groups, and I reveled in being with the best group of people I've ever known. Yes, I'm older than most of them, but so what? We bonded a long time ago and they're my people.

Julie, who tends to be on the shy and quiet side, also enjoyed it a lot. Everybody was friendly and welcoming to her and, since we all have a shared background of loss, we fall into the sisterly mode immediately. Didn't get home until almost 8:00, and that was okay. I don't have any today or tomorrow, but things rev up on Thursday and Friday.  

Sunday

The Sunday crossword was a little annoying and I lost interest earlier than usual. About 9:30, I got my cart and took off for Wal-Mart, which carries the sleep aid I've used for twenty years. Got that, plus tangerines, bleach, frozen broccoli, and a lot of other stuff. I was a little worried I had over-shopped (it's not as if I can just load things into a car), but no prob. Took a bus home.   

Lunched, then tried to deal with a vexing computer problem: The shift key on the right side of my keyboard has stopped working. Later, "enter" stopped, too. I looked it up and saw something to do with "sticky keys" in setting. Did it and fixed "enter," but shift is still being--well, shifty.

Bused to town about 3:00. Did my usual Main Street stroll and bought four more DVDs. (Now, Mimi, you didn't! Yeah, I did, so shoot me.) Three of them looked interesting and the other is a movie that changed my life--rather, it overturned a deep-seated belief of my life. No, it has nothing to do with religion. Think I'll just leave that hanging. 

This is going to be a busy day. Ellen's taking me to the dentist at 2:45 to have the impression made and Julie is picking me up for Soaring Spirits at 5:45. We'll go to the the Stone Fire Grill and I'll introduce her to the rest of the gang. 

Speaking of which: Barbara Quaid, who's the CEO of the Ventura Fairgrounds, texted me to ask if I'll be at the S.S. dinner tonight. Yes, and I have a question for her. What is it? Aha--all will be revealed in due time...

Saturday

After breakfast, I got three errands accomplished in record time: walked over the footbridge to the Hill street library branch and picked up Full Service, an exposé of sex in old Hollywood* and Anthony Bourdain's last book, World Travel: An Irreverent Guide; went down Victoria to the bank for cash; then stopped at The Market for lettuce and other produce. Bused home and put the chianti in the fridge, made sandwiches for Jim and me, and otherwise prepared for lunch.

Jim got here, as usual, at 1:00, and we had good wine and talk. He was more than usual forthcoming about his childhood and his mother and I was interested. He enjoyed the chianti as I did and he like seeing my pictures of Pasadena. I also showed him Aline's enthusiastic reaction to his piece about Maria Callas and he was very pleased to read it. 

Jim stayed until 4:00, then I walked him out and got the mail. Video-messaged son Mike--it was early Sunday morning in Singapore--and chatted with him for a bit. I then lay down on my bed--this was about five o'clock--and, incredibly enough, fell asleep. Woke up refreshed.

Speaking of sleep, I took the RLS med an hour before I went to bed the past few nights and have been sleeping well.  Of course, that may be meaningless, as I never had the leg/foot movements every night, anyway, but I guess I'll continue.  

* I love books like this, the racier, the better.

T.O.P.S. And Sleep

Weight: Stayed the same at home (130.8) and lost 1.02 at T.O.P.S (130.6); go figure. The meeting was okay, as it stayed pretty much on topic. New member Julie brought a neighbor, Margaret, who seems educated and savvy. She did, however, wear a mask throughout, which makes me wonder. Lora picked me up, but was called before the meeting was over and had to rush out, so Julie volunteer to take me home. She wanted to, as I'm taking her to the regular Soaring Spirits dinner gathering on Monday and she'll pick me up. Didn't get breakfast until 10:30 and lunch until after 2:00, one of the many things--or two of the many things--that annoy me about T.O.P.S. 

Went over to Von's for lettuce and got some nice watermelon slices, too. I intended to bus to town, but because I had slept so poorly, took a short nap instead. I reluctantly took the RLS med--one at 4:30, the other at 8:00. I was sure it would kill me or make me a lifelong cripple, but it so far, so good. (The fact that my RLS didn't bother me last night doesn't signify anything, I'm afraid, as it's always sporadic.)

I did little yesterday, as I was tired--unusual for me, but getting so little sleep did me in, I guess. Made a turkey stir-fry for dinner, then called Jim to tell him I was back and invite him for lunch today. Yes. he'll be here and I'll break open the chianti Patrick gave me to share. Told him I'd make us chicken sandwiches, too.

Happy day--I just go up at 7:00 and slept very well--YAY!

L.A. And Pasadena

 It's now Friday morning, at 7:31. Just got up, as I had a terribly restless night. Here's a quick synopsis of our mini-vacay, Ellen and me, which had some blips, but overall, was lots fun:

Tuesday: El picked me up later then we had planned because her car had a problem, which had to be fixed first. We were afraid we wouldn't get to L.A in time for our reservations on the Hollywood tour bus, but we did, and that was fun. It was an open air bus, lots of festive people aboard, and we went up, up, up Mulholland Drive in Beverly Hills--scary, but beautiful. From there, we drove to Pasadena and the motel and settled in. Early dinner, as we hadn't had time for lunch. Went to Stone Fire Grille, of all places. 

Wednesday: Went early to the fabulous Huntington Gardens and greatly enjoyed it. However, it's huge and it was 88 degrees out, so even I got tired after half a day there. Had a bite and its outdoor cafe and I companied mine with a Mimosa. Went back to the motel, put on our suits, and swam in the pool. Showered and dressed, then went to dinner at MiPlace, where El had reservations. Nice place, but boy, expensive: El had a salad and pizza, I had raw oysters and a glass of Chardonnay and the bill (with tip) totaled ninety bucks and change. No matter, we had great time.

Thursday: Packed up the car, left the motel, and had breakfast at a nearby Denny's, then went to the Norton Simon Museum, where we had reservations. We both loved this, not only the indoor art (Monet, Picasso, Gauguin, Degas, and many others), but the outdoor gardens, with sculptures. We had to leave there without seeing all of it (we'll come back later, I hope) because we had reservations at the Gamble House for 2:45. This is a wonderful--and huge--Craftsman style estate that was built, of course, by the Procter & Gamble Gambles and not my niece, Carolyn's, husband, I'm sorry to say.  I want to read a bit more on the Gambles soon.

Left there about 4:30 and, as we were driving back to Ventura, Greg called and suggested we three meet at Steven's Greek restaurant on Main Street. We did, had a great time at dinner, then Greg drove back to Ojai, El drove me home, and we said goodbye after a wonderful mother/daughter sojourn. 

Now I have to get ready for T.O.P.S., as Lora will pick me up in a half hour.

Computer Woes

 We're here! After some car concerns, we set 

  ...and that's all I could write at the motel on Tuesday night. Long, freakin' story I won't even go into, except to say I think it was the defective plug at the motel, but no matter, my little laptop is well again and I'll add a quick synopsis of our adventures in Pasadena as soon as I have as chance. That could mean this morning (Friday) or tonight, depending...

Monday

Did a color wash, started packing, then went to Von's for lettuce and Dave's Killer Bread. I spent a lot of time on the phone with Stephanie (my new best friend), at the dentist's office, arranging for the two visits upcoming in August re my situation.

Jim called to tell me he was finally able to edit his Moms Know Best story, once I told him to cut and paste it. I think he can also edit what I put in the body of the email; just not when I made it an attachment. He wished us bon voyage. 

Packed up my small suitcase, surely taking much more than I need, but I always overpack. I nestled the Margarita mix in between my clothes and added some stemmed plastic glasses, just in case the hotel doesn't have glass ones. 

Bused to town after lunch. Picked up three more DVDs (am I insane?!) and two attractive mugs. When I get back from Pasadena, I'm going to halve my DVD collection and donate those I probably don't want to see again.

Stopped next door to give Suzanne my mailbox key and a bag to put mail and the papers in while I'm gone. She showed me pictures of her recent trip to Watsonville, CA, and we chatted. 

Ellen called and we coordinated plans for our trip today--whee!

Sunday

Changed the bed and did a load of bleach wash. I'll do a color one today to prepare for our mother/daughter mini-vacay tomorrow--yay!

After breakfast, I loaded up my cart with some books and started off for the little lending library in the park. Before I left the complex, I ran into my friend, Patrick, and gave him some plastic bottles.(He takes them to the redemption place, then distributes the money to the homeless.) He thanked me, then asked if I like wine--(ha, is the Pope...?). He then gave me a straw-wrapped bottle of chianti. Wow, I haven't had chianti for years and now I remember it's probably my favorite red; I'm looking forward to sharing it with Jim. There were slim pickin's at the LLL, but I added some hard covers and picked up two paperbacks. 

Ellen called to give me the terrible news: She tried to buy Skinny Girl Margaritas at Von's in Ojai and they didn't have any! I said I'd go to the Von's here; did so, and they didn't have any, either!  But we must be able to drink Margaritas when we're in the hotel in Pasadena! Oh, dear, goodness gracious, what to do? Finally, I thought of CVS, went there, and yes, they had some and I bought it--whew! Can't wait for our excursion in Pasadena.

Later, I started thinking about my old St. James classmate, Elva Gruhler. For some reason, I'm still having a hard time "processing," as they say, her death. From my blog entry of April 7, 2020:

I thought I'd call my old friend, Elva Gruhler (that was her maiden name), with whom I graduated from St. James an incredible seventy years ago, but the phone was no longer "in service." Looked her up and, damn, Elva died three months ago. I'm not sure why that hit me so hard, but it did. We had a history--Dr, Gruhler and his family lived on Rosborough Avenue, as we did and I went all through grammar school with Elva. They moved away, we lost touch until about ten years ago, when we reconnected. I visited Elva at her Lambertville Gallery of Fine Art, bringing Jeanne Dollard once and Peggy Hartman another time.

I don't know why I feel so bereft; the last time I talked to Elva was shortly after I moved here. She had called just to say hello, not realizing I was in California. I wish I had called her a few months ago. Elva's entire birth family pre-deceased her and her brother and sister were quite young. It's another part of my childhood gone forever and I remember some history with Elva that now, nobody else in the world remembers. It isn't even important or very significant, so why does it still clutter up my mind? That's a rhetorical question--I know why.

Note to myself: I sent off the Sweetwater water bill to my tenants. 

Jim And Other Stuff

Tidied up a bit in the morning. Called my pal, Patti, to tell her I won't be taking the restless leg syndrome medication--yet, anyway. I'm just uneasy about it at this point. Went over to Von's for deli chicken breast and lettuce to make sandwiches for Jim and me.  

I then occupied myself with typing up a list of the DVDs I own--yoicks, I have seventy-one of them! And that doesn't include the two dozen or more I re-donated to the thrift store. But so what? I don't watch television and I enjoy movies, so that's okay. I do want to get rid of a lot of them, though; I just don't have room to store them.

Jim came at his usual 1:00 and we had lunch. I showed him and we discussed for a bit the book The Tragedy of American Science, which I'm only a quarter way through. I was most interested in the first chapter, which covers food and nutrition subjects and the way scientists and some universities have colluded with corporations to mislead the public. 

Jim wanted to correct some of my mistyping of his Maria Callas article and we went into the bedroom to do so on the laptop. He couldn't understand why he couldn't do it, as I had sent it to him. However, I'm pretty sure the computer "thinks" that because I sent it as an attachment, that it's mine, so he shouldn't be permitted to change it. I then copied it and put it in the body of an email to him. I told him to copy and paste into his own word document and that should do the trick. I hope it does.

After lunch, we sat in the living room while he read me another piece called "Moms Know Best." This isn't about his mother, but about a female feral cat who used to come into his house in San Francisco when he was in his twenties; she had litters four times a year or something. It's a cute little piece, I guess, but not of the caliber of the Callas one.   

Jim left about 4:30 and I immediately called Betty at her new place. Her talk and reactions are still muddled, of course, but she seemed generally content. I then called Carolyn to express my certainty that this is a much better place for my twin. I hope to go see her next week.

Friday

A pretty busy day. Lora was late picking me up (she had overslept), so we didn't get to T.O.P.S. until 9:00. No matter, though, as only Bobbi and Julie, the new member, were there. Sharon had called me to say she'd be late. I thought I had gained and I did--I was 1.2 up to 130.8 at home, same amount up at T.O.P.S. to a whopping (joke) 131.8. Actually, that's a wake-up call; I don't want to go over my range of 125 to 130 and I'll get serious about it this week. 

I had been asked to conduct the meeting in Lennie's absence and I did. I came up with a number of questions for the rest to discuss and it went well. For the most part, I was able to keep Sharon from spouting on and on and did it kindly, so she wouldn't feel squelched. It's so clear that she has a major low (that's sort of an oxymoron, but not really) self-esteem problem, along with her physical ailments, many of which are serious.

Home and had breakfast, then spent a horrible time on various calls and on-line stuff to medical and dental arrangements--I don't even want to list them, but it was hours. Now I've got a number of these freakin' appointments, but at least they're done. Emailed Jim to see if he wants to come for lunch today; my new book about science should interest him. We talked later and yes, he'll be here today.

After lunch, I bused to town and enjoyed my usual sojourn around town. Stopped at the library first, still thrilled and overjoyed that it's open. I sat and read some of a new bio of Prince Philip, now 99, the old goat, and borrowed two documentaries, one of the Titanic, the other on Harvey Milk.

Home a bit after six and had a nice chicken leg and thigh for dinner, plus a potato. I forgot I had had mixed veggies in the fridge, so will eat them tonight. 

  

Joe

I walked to Smart 'n' Final after breakfast for lettuce, broccoli, and potatoes. Went to Dollar Tree next door for a few other things. Walked back and when I approached the gate, Vickie was walking toward me. We went on together and chatted sadly about Mary's continuing decline and the difficulty of finding an appropriate place for her.

Speaking of which: Niece Carolyn called to say she had found one for Betty, who moved there yesterday. This is a memory care place and looks like a much better fit. Also, if I'm not mistaken (I have to look into it further), I'll be able to get there directly on the local bus, so when I visit, Carolyn won't have to get me there--YAY! 

I called Joe, as promised, before lunch, to say I'd be there at The Townhouse, where he lives, at 4:00.  Showered and took the bus there, meeting him at the appointed time.

In truth, I wasn't looking forward to this. Joe is now 96 and has suffered a number of reverses within the last few years. He can no longer walk and rides a battery-powered kind of scooter. His hearing is off (and, although he has a hearing aid, he wasn't wearing it), and he's very thin. He was in a coma for three weeks (not medically-induced) last year and has had cancer, two heart attacks, and something he called "a calcified bladder." 

Actually, though, I enjoyed myself. We first sat on his patio--he's not in the main building, but has a nice little cottage on the grounds--with beer (Stella Artois, one of my favorites) and talked for an hour until it was time for dinner. Went to the main building where we were courteously told we had to sit outside (because I'm an outsider). But that isn't some back alley or something; it's a wonderfully well-appointed covered area called "The Pier," with nautical touches here and there, comfortable chairs at round tables with umbrellas, and plenty of space. We were given menus, then our orders were taken, and served. 

The food wasn't bad, especially for such a large place and the staff is about as warm and friendly as anywhere I've seen. Many of them greeted Joe by name, as did many of the residents. Considering it was built in 1965 and covers 12 acres, the place seems remarkably homey. Residents have a choice of tower suites (I've been in one and the views are spectacular), private villas, and cottages. There is memory care here, but most of the people I saw and with whom I chatted were, like Joe, mentally sound, but simply old. I was delighted to be introduced to a man whose two sons graduated from Rider, as Joe and I did. When I asked the man when, he said he didn't remember, but one of his sons is seventy.

Anyway, we said goodbye after dinner and I intended to take a bus home. I started walking, though, and walked all the way home, a mile and a half, but it felt good. They had pictures of residents in the lobby and here's Joe when he graduated from Rider--he's changed a bit:

Wednesday

Stella and I had planned to meet at Lure, have lunch, then go on to the movie. I got there at 1:00, but there were employees outside to announce that the electricity had gone off and they couldn't seat anyone. Called Stella, told her, and we agreed to meet at Dargan's.

We did, I had a hamburger and good Irish beer, and we were almost finished when her friend and neighbor, Carol, came.  She also had a hamburger, but there was plenty of time, as the movie didn't start until 3:25, and the theatre is just a few doors down on Main.

We went in--there was only one other person in the audience--and first sat through an interminable number of previews, each of which featured violence of one sort or another. The movie itself was slightly entertaining--in spots--but much, much too long. (Maybe it seemed that way to me because of my habit of watching movies at home in one-hour or less increments.) 

Anyway, Cruella is a kind of Brit poor imitation of The Devil Wore Prada. It featured the mean head of a fashion empire, a poor girl who triumphs, and even the bald-headed assistant to the meanie, a dead ringer for Stanley Tucci, who played the same in Meryl's movie. As for Carol, Stella's friend, she was okay, I guess, although a bit too positive she was right in all things.  

I didn't get off the bus until almost 7:00 and impulsively  rang Vickie's bell before I went home. She invited me in, insisted I stay for a glass of wine (well, I didn't need much persuading), and we had a good talk. More bad things are happening with Mary, who's now getting aggressive--hits Vickie and so on. I don't know how much longer Vickie can handle this, considering her upcoming cancer treatment. She's still frantically try to find a good place for Mary, where she'll be cared for, but since Mary has no money, why bother? There is only one god and his name is Mammon.   

Big Business, Betty, And A Bonanza

I walked to The Market after breakfast for goodies, including carrots. Home, I scrubbed them, cut them, added oil and seasoning, and put in to slow cook. Had lunch, then napped for two hours--unusual for me, but after my restless night, I needed it badly. Felt good when I got up at 4:00 and--happy day--slept well last night.

I wish I could find a place other than Rolling Oaks Radiology to get my bone density test. Unfortunately, I don't even know of any around here. I've been trying to make an appointment for days. Got an email to the effect that they prefer you to make them online. Hey, I'd love to and I tried to several times over several days. Every time I got to the page to actually chose a day and time, I was confronted with a message: there were no available times in the morning. Or the afternoon. Or the evening. Every time.  I think this kind of thing may have a connection with the book I'm reading: The Velvet Rope Economy/How Inequality Became Big Business. The privileges and perks the wealthy receive solely because they're able to pay for them are prevalent in every corner of modern society, certainly include health care.

Stella called re our movie date today. We talked about where to have lunch and I suggested Dargan's. Again--and this seems to happen constantly--she started talking about how she got Irish stew there she didn't think was fresh, and so on. She suggested Lure and, okay, fine by me, but I'm beginning to think this is some kind of control thing. She seems always to have some objection to whatever place is proposed, but oh, well, Lure's okay, too. I was a little taken aback when Stella said she had invited two other women to go with us and one of them might want to bring a friend.  Hmm..if they're interesting and reasonably intelligent, I might enjoy them, but considering Stella's persona.... Okay, we'll see. 

Betty called just after dinner--twice, in fact, and we had our usual disjointed conversation. She doesn't, of course, call me directly anymore. Her helper, Elizabeth, goes over her voicemail messages, then helps Betty call the people back.

The mail was very late yesterday; I went out to my box after 5:00 and it was empty. Went again a little after six and had a bonanza: my RLS medication,* two referrals, notification from BOA that my account was credited again because of the hacker (they've now refunded more than $700) and, also from BOA, my new Mastercard. Even better, I got the book I ordered: The Tragedy of Science.  

*Note to Pat: I'll email you more info on this shortly.

+  

Monday

Changed the sheets and did a load of wash before breakfast. I then walked to the post office to send the mail items to Aline and my neice. Of course, I completly forgot it wasn't open due to the fourth falling on Sunday. No matter, I'll go this morning. 

Showered and washed my hair with my new purple shampoo. It hard to tell if it got the yellow out or not, but that's no biggie. Left at 10:45 and got the 6 to the mall, then the 11 to Telephone Road and Sharkey's. There were only seven of us Soaring Spirits widows and widowers; usually, there are many more at dinner, as this is an all-ages group and some of us work.

I wasn't at all happy with the arrangements for several reasons. For openers, it's a kind a fast food Mexican place and, of course, what's very common now is that you stand at a counter and order your meal. I don't like that and I especially resent having a tip option staring me in the face. All this is, of course, more and more common, but if I have a choice, I'll eat elsewhere. Also, seating was outside and it was a bit cool for that. I ordered a plain bean and cheese burrito, which would have been very sloppy to eat without a knife and fork. I asked for them and used them. It turned out there was a paper napkin (on top of the plate) under the burrito and I ate some of it. 

I sat with Hannah, who's only about 40, I guess and a new guy named Terry. He's a serious bicyclist who actually did the famous Tour deFrance race. He lost his wife a few years ago, is only about 60, no kids, and--like so damn many middle aged men I know--his conversation is all about him. What a bore and what a boring S.S. lunch. Let's hope we go back to a more agreeable venue next month, or I ain't gonna be there.

Bused to town after that and strolled here and there. I bought a blouse and two DVDs and at least got some walking in. Got home early, though--4:00, which I don't like to do, but it was okay.     

I had a terrible time sleeping. Was awake for what seemed to be hours with the RLS thing. Hope that medication comes today. 

Sunday

A better Sunday than most, although the crossword wasn't that good. Finished up the re-typing Jim's article on Maria Callas. I added the Callas-autographed program, used the hole punch to prepare the manuscript for the notebook, and put some embellishments on the front. I wasn't absolutely sure how Jim would react; after all, I hadn't asked if I could do it. However, he was delighted and very appreciative to have it. He also asked me to send him the re-done version (I didn't change a single word, though), which I did later.

We had a pleasant lunch, again accompanied with Cabernet Sauvignon, which I provided. Jim said he used to drink white until he learned that red contains resveratrol, which is supposed to have health benefits. Since I drink little wine, I'm indifferent to that. I always preferred white myself, but I'm getting to appreciate red, too.

After Jim left, I took a walk. Just stopped in Von's and CVS; didn't buy anything, then walked around the block. Home and I had a mundane ravioli Lean Cuisine, then typed a note to Aline to accompany the essay. Also, I had found the stamps I told my niece and her husband, Joan and Jim I would send them, so packed that. I'll walk to the post office and get them sent off before the Soaring Spirits lunch today. 

    

Saturday

I got two things done that had been hanging fire* for some time: a hair cut and a pedicure. Went to cheapy Great Clips and the hair looks okay, although not great; I just had it trimmed. The nails feel good. I don't really care what they look like, as I'm the only who sees them, but their trim was a lot more important than the hair's. What I found interesting is that the pedicure cost more than the haircut. No matter, I'm glad both are done. I know people who find it fun and/or relaxing to get those that kind of grooming done. Not me, I just endure it.

Ellen and I had a fun talk about our upcoming trip to Pasadena and L.A. We got our hotel rooms (separate ones, which she prefers and, in truth, so do I) and are planning to go on a Hollywood bus tour, the wax museum, the Norton Simon museum, and Huntington Gardens. Can't wait until next week!

I walked to Smart 'n' Final for stuff, including several pounds of chicken thighs. When I got home, I oiled and seasoned them and put them in the oven. Had one for dinner and froze the rest. Also prepared a yam and with those two, plus broccoli, it was kind of an old-fashioned dinner.

I re-typed Jim's essay on Maria Callas and will send it to Aline today. It looks good, so I called him and invited him to lunch today.  I'll present it to him when he comes and that's the version I'll send to Aline. I didn't change a single thing; I know she'll love it.  

* That's an old expression I always thought puzzling. Must look it up.  

T.O.P.S., Aline, And Maria

Lora picked me up for T.O.P.S. (yes, I decided to go). Sharon came back and a new person, Julie, joined,  so there were six of us. I weighed 129.6 at home, for a loss of .02. Two weeks ago when I was last at T.O.P.S., I weighed 130.2, yesterday 130.6, so .04 up. (I don't understand why the difference, but it's so miniscule, who would care?) Lennie will be in Montana next week, so she asked me to conduct the meeting. Oh, all right, so I'll work something up. 

David texted me while I was there, asking if he could come over to see the bird next. I told him I wasn't home, but he certainly could. I don't know why he asks my permission, as the nest is outside the gate, on common ground. 

Got home and was just preparing breakfast (at 10:00 am, practically the middle of the afternoon) when Aline called. We had a great talk, mostly about Jim and Maria Callas. She can't wait to get Jim's essay on Maria and I can't wait to tell Jim her encounter with the diva. I'll recount it below, just so I don't forget it.

Walked to the Market before lunch for produce and so on. Bused back, had lunch, then just sort of lazed around. Ellen called later and we made preliminary plans for our mini-vacay to Pasadena and L.A. 

Here's the Callas connection:

Aline and her friend (male, but platonic) were at opening night at the Met in New York in about 1969. They sat way, way up in the balcony, which is what they could afford.* Renata Tebaldi was starring in "Traviata" and she and Callas were fierce rivals. Callas was there, however: she was sitting with Rudolf Bing, general manager of the Met, in his box in the elite section.  When Aline and friend were down in the lobby during intermission, Callas and Bing walked in. Aline's friend got down on one knee and kissed the hem of her gown! Callas wasn't angry or disgusted, she just smiled and she and Bing walked on. Aline also knew an opera coach who said Callas "acted with her voice" and was "the greatest artist ever in the world." 

*The only time I went to the Met, I sat there, too.

Speed

My life seems to have speeded up lately, what with one thing and another--lots going on. 

Yesterday, I saw the attorney. Consultation about a living will took about 45 minutes and it isn't nearly as cut-and-dried as I thought. A major reason is that my house is in Jersey and I live in California. A CA living trust would be valid there, but still would entail some expense. Probate, though, would be avoided; I was horrified to hear that would cost my estate about $10,000.  Also was surprised to learn neither Mike nor Patrick could act as "Successor Trustee" (I'm not sure if that's the term), which is similar, it seems, to the executor of a will, because they live in other countries. 

Anyway, the attorney was nice and very forthcoming, plus no charge for the consultation. At his suggestion, I'm going to look up (or ask my children to look up) info on this topic in New Jersey. 

Got home and Suzanne stopped in. We had a nice visit and she gave me her mailbox key; she's going up to Watsonville until the ninth or tenth. 

I called the oral surgeon's office (VC Oral And Facial Surgery) and made an appointment for next Thursday for a consultation. I want to know the cost of full sedation and the extractions. 

Stella texted me to say her sister said we must see Cruella. Ugh--at first I thought she meant a cartoon movie, but no, it's live. It IS from the Disney universe, which I consider responsible for the collapse of any kind of viable culture in this country and... 

Okay, okay I'll get off my high horse; I looked at the trailer and it actually looks like fun. Stella asked me to find out where it was playing; I did and we made a date for lunch and the movie on Wednesday.   

Jim came at his usual 1:00. He brought me James Joyce's The Dead, which I haven't read for an age. I put it on my ever-growing pile of "books I intend to read, but haven't yet." He (Jim, not James Joyce) and I got into a heated discussion involving Jesuits, science, Aristotle, St. Thomas Aquinas, abortion, and the pope. Considering neither of us are religious, it's a little weird, but old habits die  hard and I doubt if we'll ever get over the Irish Catholic thing.  

Said goodbye to Jim about 4:00, then hopped on the bus to go to Green Thumb to try to get something for my ailing geranium. For some reason, they closed early, so I didn't get in. Stopped at The Market, though, for blueberries and pretzels. 

Called Ellen, but she and Greg were about to go to the Hip Vegan for dinner and she said she'll call me today.

T.O.P.S. this morning, damnit. I'm still on the fence about continuing, but Lora's picking me up at 8:30. 

Dentist

I finally did it: In fear and trembling, I went to the dentist. I liked Dr. Babbitt a lot, but that, of course, doesn't change the fact that I need extensive work. I was there for an hour, but I don't want to elaborate on what needs to be done. Now I have to make a decision: Do I want to simply have Dr. B. do it, with locals and noxious oxide or so I want to go to the extra expense of an oral surgeon who will put me to sleep? I'm going to have to decide this. 

The minor part is that some of my bottom teeth need fillings and other dentistry. After I got home, I called to make an appointment for that preliminary work and was told Dr. B. has nothing open until August 7! It's not that I mind waiting--I'd like to wait forever--but for reasons I won't go into here, I need to have the major work done before August 17th. 

As I had told Donna I would, I called her Dad, Joe Roca, and he invited me to come to The Townhome, where he lives. I had met Joe when I first came to California, through Donna, who's a fellow member of Soaring Spirits. I'll see Joe a week from today at 4:00.

Called Jim and filled him in on my doctor and dentist visits. He'll come today for lunch, I'm happy to say, as I like to see him at least once a week. That will be after I see the attorney for the trust thing today at 9:45.