SATURDAY WITH THE MOLLOYS

Mike and Vivian picked me up at 10:00 and off we went to Trader Joe's. We got our goods--this, that, and the other--then went to two trendy little dress shops favored by the young and Vivian got a nice sweater:

                                                      

                                                            After appetizers on the porch, we had a yummy leftover lunch, the three others doing the clean-up. We then split up. Vivian caught up on some anatomy class work, and Mike went to town to rent a bike, Ellen, I'm not sure what, and the matriarch took a little nap on El's bed. Later, all refreshed, we gathered again and took pics: 

The Molloy Single

💖Hostess with the Mostest!💖

The Molloy Duo

The Molloy Trio

The Molloy Quartet

We hung around for a bit, then took off for Little Dom's Seafood restaurant in Carpentaria. Craig had made the reservations and was already there. This is a very popular fish place and it was Saturday night, so absolutely jammed. Luckily, Greg had made reservations and was already there. We had delicious food (I a kind of fish sandwich) and good talk and all enjoyed it:

The Molloy quartet, plus the honorary Molloy at dinner last night.

Greg drove Ellen home and Mike and Vivian took me. It was so, so good to see my darling granddaughter, twenty-one now and ready to face the world. It was hard to leave her, but here's the great news: Ellen and I going to her graduation from University of Hawaii in May!  No plans for today, but tomorrow, but I'm going to prepare for my move as much as possible.

Note: Vickie texted me to ask when I can meet with Suzanne and her for a farewell pizza. I said I'd get back to her, as I have a bunch of commitments coming up. Hey, I'll miss those two living so close, but of course, we'll keep in touch. 

FRIDAY

It was a slowing down day, after the celebrations kind, and I actually welcomed that.  I finally starting wrapping and packing up some things, notably the pictures on my corner bookcase. Did a few other chores, but also took a two-hour nap. I don't usually nap that long, but I felt good when I got up just now, at 5:30. 

Went out to get the mail--nothing exciting--and Suzanne stopped to chat. We caught up on each other's Thanksgiving; she had celebrated the other day in Arizona; yesterday, she joined her sister Sisters for dinner.

I forgot to mention earlier that I had gotten in touch with Bob "Muff" McGinty the other day via email. He had been a groomsman (usher) at our wedding and was a very close friend with Pat's brother, Mike. On impulse, I emailed him, but it's been at least twenty years, maybe longer, that we've been in touch, so I didn't expect it to get to him. To my surprise, he wrote back with a nice note and some pictures:    

Bob and his family at his granddaughter's wedding.

Presumably, the wedding was on the beach. 

I know Bob is over ninety, but I'm not sure by how much, maybe he's my brother, Larry's age of 94. He went to Atlantic High, BTW, unlike most of Pat's and Mike's friends. Think I'll call my brother, Larry, to tell him about Bob.

I'm going to cut this short because today, Mike and Vivian are picking me up about 10:00 and we have various activities planned, including dinner in Camarillo. 

THURSDAY--THANKSGIVING DAY

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IMPORTANT: Don't forget the big Thanksgiving game today--between HSHS and ACHS, of course. You say you can't see it? Just close your eyes and dream and you'll be back at Bader Field:

Pat Molloy star running back

HSHS, 1951 

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A good, warm, family Thanksgiving: Mike and my darling granddaughter picked me up about noon, both exhausted. Vivian had come in from Hawaii and had gotten in at 5:00 am and the exit stairs had been broken; she had an two hours-long delay before they could disembark and finally had to go to a different gate. Mike had gotten up at 3: 00 or so to pick her up.   

After greetings and a chat, we went off to The Orchard yet again, to show Vivian. She liked it as much as Mike did, then we drove to Ojai to Ellen's. Her house renovations are now complete and it looks great. It will change further when she gets new furniture, which she plans, but first things first. Here are just a few random pics--Mike took more and I'll post when he shares them:  

Above: We had drinks and appetizers on the porch; after, Mike showed pics of the jungle.

Greg got annoyed with Ellen and pulled out a knife, but he relented when she let him carve the turkey.

Above three pics: Cleanup after dinner; everybody helped but me--hey, I deserve a rest after 88 years. (But hmm...do I like the sound of that? No, it suggests something else--AAGH!)

Mike took many more pictures, which I'll include when I get them.

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Besides the traditional main course, the superb dinner included a blue potato dish, roasted Brussels sprouts, and homemade cranberry relish; the crowning glory was Ellen-made (crust and all) pumpkin pie with real whipped cream (not that canned abomination).

After we enjoyed all that (and some cleaned up--see pics above) we played our beloved gin rummy. Vivian never had, so we did a test round first and had great fun. We finally parted after 9:00--good grief, practically the middle of the night!--with hugs all around after a wonderful day..

Ellen took me home, I watched a half-hour of The Godfather II, then went to Dreamland. Got up once, but slept well the rest of the night.

I won't see my gang today, but will tomorrow when we go to dinner in Camarillo. Darling Vivian leaves on Sunday (sob!) and on Monday, we'll again visit The Orchard; this time, we'll inspect my new apartment. 

A HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL WHO READ THIS--I'M GRATEFUL TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE!

WEDNESDAY (WARNING: IT'S A LONG ONE)

Mike got to my place about 8:45 and after hugs, we chatted for a bit, then went to The Little Lion for breakfast, which is rapidly becoming one of my least favorite places. For openers, we had to wait almost a half-hour to get our meals, although it wasn't very crowded. I ordered scrambled eggs and sides and specified I wanted the eggs soft. They came not only very un-hot, but about as soft as shoe leather. Also, the coffee came without a saucer (is that a new trend?) or a spoon and  I had to ask for one. The dish was set up oddly with this tier: toast on the bottom of the plate, sliced avocado next, and, then the cool and tough egg mess  on top. This was surrounded by mediocre chopped potatoes. All in all, double plus un-good.

After, we went to Von's, just a few yards away. I got my supplies for the week and Mike picked up a few things to take back to Ellen's. Unpacked, talked a bit, then we went to The Orchard, so I could show Mike my new home. 

Ellen has made arrangements for all four of us to see my actual apartment on Monday, when Carissa will admit us, but I wanted to show Mike the grounds, public rooms, and so on. He was very favorably impressed and I was so pleased when we looked over the balconies to the dining room and several people smiled, waved, and called hi. We went upstairs and saw that my apartment, number 220, already had a mounted card on the door with my name on  it:

I'm so glad we went. I had been apprehensive about the move and wondering if I'd really be happy there. I'm not naive enough to think it'll be idyllic or that every resident will be a soulmate, but Mike's approval and my general feeling of enjoyment made me good.

We stopped at Two Trees for lunch; Mike had a gi-normous Mexican salad and I a Ruben. I always say you can't get a good Reuban on the west coast because all the real, authentic Jews are in Brooklyn and the Bronx and they're the only ones who know how to make them.* However, it wasn't bad and accompanied with a good hazy IPA, it was enjoyable.  

We went back to my place and played a ferocious game of gin rummy game, up to 500. Mike won, but I'm highly suspicious that he cheated, because I'm a much better player than he is. My baby boy then left and I'll see him about 11:00 today when he picks me up to go to Ellen's.* 

*Okay, okay, there were some in old time Hollywood, but they've mostly faded away--I think.

TUESDAY

Suzanne is back from Arizona where she attended her younger brother's seventy-fifth birther part. It was a surprise, as he thought the guests were coming for Thanksgiving and she invited me over to see pictures. Suzanne is the oldest of what had been six, but another had had Downs Syndrome and died several years ago. She has one sister, whom I've met and I've also met her brother, Glenn, a doctor in San Diego. 

I got some packing done--sort of. I cleared out some of the kitchen drawers, but found only two items I wanted to give away or donate. Now this is a dilemma--I want to keep a number of utensils, some of which I use only once or twice a year. I may have to make a selection and/or just discard, then buy or borrow if I need them.

It was a beautiful day, but I didn't go out, aside from having lunch on the patio. Mostly lazed around and, incredibly, spent several hours of it watching gangsters on T.V.  Saw Casino and some of Godfather II, both full of violence and naughtily words, but very engaging--for me, anyway.  

The high point of the day was a Message, then a call from Mike, who's now at Ellen's after flying roughly 9,000 to get here. He'll come over today and take me to some stores, plus presumably assess the moving situation. Vivian will come into LAX today, too--YAY, YAY, AND HAPPY DAY!  

MONDAY

Got a call from Primary Medical to the effect that the outfit that's sending the P.T. requires a TB test beforehand. Okay, I can get it done by Quest right across the was at Von's and I was going there, anyway. However, when I did, a sign on the door said they were closed until December 1. So what, I'm not enthusiastic about the home visit, since I had a 2:30 appointment at Second Wave P.T. yesterday and have three more scheduled.

I did take the walker over to Von's to pick up tomatoes, prepared salad, bread, and a six-pack of Lagunitas (Spanish for "Little Lagoons") IPAs. While there, I ran into my neighbor, Michelle, who's a little kooky, but I enjoy her in small doses. 

Home, just had some cottage cheese with pineapple for lunch, then prepared for the P.T. trip to Oxnard. When I was picked up, the driver naturally folded up my walker and stowed it in the trunk. When we got there, though, he had difficulty opening it all the way. There's a bar you pull up to fold and push down to open and that wasn't going all the way down. I took it in and therapist Brian was able to fix it--I thought.

I was picked up after the session by Uber driver, Anna--great fun to talk to--and when I got home, there was the same difficulty--the walker just wouldn't open completely and the back wheel was locked. I got it in the house, but I hope somebody will fix it permanently soon. 

Got home about 4:00 and although I whine and complain about going, I actually enjoy it once I do. Brian, Rane, and the other P.T. s are young, friendly and fun, and I like joking with them.

Through the day, I called Ellen several times and we talked about this and that, but nothing was urgent unless you count the walker.  Since I've been having sleeping even without the sleep aid, I skipped it, as it doesn't seem to make any difference, anyway. It's billed as non-habit forming, so maybe I'll try the other, which I had taken for twenty years--I'm considering alternatives. 

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I came across this pic and have no idea when or where. Obviously, it's been awhile as I was heavier, still coloring my hair, and visiting Larry in Florida, I think--so early two thousands, I'd say.

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SUNDAY

The usual Sunday crapola: wash sheets, re-make, take med, do crossword. Did a color wash and cleaned up a bit, too. When I saw my young neighbor, Leah, on Saturday, we thought we'd go out to eat yesterday, but time got away from both of us and we'll try for this week instead.

Showered and washed my hair. I was a little nervous about it, but was very careful and had no problem. I took the new walker out and strolled around the campus a bit. I'm going to P.T. today and will take it there, in case there's something I'm doing wrong. Actually, I'm still kind of on the fence about whether I like it or not, but I'll persevere.

I posted on Facebook a pic of Sunrise Bay neighbors and me when they gave me a going-away luncheon ten years ago; I was roughly fifty pounds heavier at the time: 

Bobbi R., my former T.O.P.S buddy here, commented on it, so I called her and we had a nice chat. Bobbi's from Brooklyn or Queens and had been an au pair in Ventnor as a teenager, so we have a bound. Unfortunately, she has cancer and it's progressing. Damn, I hate it.

I got truly startling news about Rider University, my alma mater and place of employment for 27 years. It seems they're going through dire financial problems: enrollment is way down and a slew of jobs are being eliminated. Gawd, I hope this doesn't impact my pension!

My dear friend, Noreen, called and we had a good talk. She and her gentleman friend, Gary, have both been sick, with coughs and so on. May be the flu, although they both had their shots. We'll touch base after Thanksgiving and I hope, meet for lunch. 

Ellen called and we discussed upcoming events. Mike gets in tomorrow and will drive down from San Francisco, then will come here on Wednesday. I'm not sure what all the plans are after that, but I go along with whatever. 

P.T. in Oxnard today--UGH!  I don't mind the routine, but waiting out front for the Uber, driving to Oxnard, doing the exercises, then reversing the process takes several hours and is  a real drag. (Oh, can it, Mimi, what else do you have to do? Uh...plenty, such as pack for the upcoming move. damnit 😩.) 

SATURDAY

Mike Facetimed me while he was taking his morning five-mile jog. He'll be here--oh joy!--the day after tomorrow and Vivian (I think) on Wednesday. So glad he'll be here on December 5 for his birthday, too. But, darn, he Messaged me a video of the jogging trail with several monkeys running across his path. I wanted to add it here, but can't seem to get it to transfer.

About 10:00 am, I found my new walker from Medicare at my door. Called Ellen to let her know and I was thrilled to hear Greg would be in Ventura about six and would stop in to assemble it. Whew--just to take off the outer cardboard box was a twenty-minute chore for me:

I took a nap, tidied up a bit, then ate my lunch on the patio. After all the rain, it had turned beautifully warm and sunny. My so-called "exercise" of the day? I delivered my two sets of trash (recyclable and not) to the place and got the mail--so exciting, right?

Greg did, indeed, come about six and that great guy put the walker together. It was in so many pieces, I'd still be working on it. As ever, I enjoyed his company and am looking forward to seeing him on Thanksgiving and, I hope, his birthday, which is on December 7. Yes, that's Pearl Harbor day and, incredibly, I remember it. 

FRIDAY

Weight report: I stayed the same at home (130.6), but incredibly, was the biggest loser at T.O.P.S. with  3.6 off, down to 131. I have no idea of the cause of the disparity, but I'll accept it and carry on. Sharon gave each of us a piece of sweet potato bread, recipes she thought we'll like, and friendly notes. We talked about our Christmas breakfast at MaryAnn's house which, incidentally, is not far from The Orchard. It's scheduled for December 5, which is Mike's birthday, but presumably we'll celebrate at dinner, so I can still to both. I was amused at Katherine's Thanksgiving week ploy: She kept her outer shirt and clogs on to weigh in so next week without them, she'll have to have lost--HA!

Took care of some financial stuff; also signed up for a year's membership in American Greetings--a little reluctantly. I always sent actual, physical birthday cards to family and friends, but now, I can't always get out to buy them. I guess this is the next best thing, but it's a little depressing. Arranged to have the card sent on her birthday, along with a gift card.

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Nostalgia Time: I ran into this sixty-nine year old letter from twin sister, Betty, which brought back to me my past. I sent it to my and her children with this explanation: 

Dear You Seven, 

I was just fooling around in my old-time stuff and I came across this letter from a relative--ha! . Of course, the original's in long hand, but I typed it out  years ago--sixty-nine, in fact. What she's referring to is the fact that the guy I was dating moved to Florida, where he lived and worked part of the year. I had gone down to visit him and he asked me to stay.  And I did. It seems it caused a furor in Ventnor and other venues where we were both known. In the spring, we drove back together and soon started making plans for June 21, 1958.

You know the rest. 

This will serve, too, to inform the Johnson contingent that I am moving again--not from Jersey to Florida, but three miles down the road in Ventura to an independent living place called The Orchard. For some reason, I can't copy the site here, but you can look it up. Why is this happening? Well, my balance has become problematic, for one thing, and there are other reasons. I intend to stick around a lot longer, but this is probably the best thing for now. It does not include medical assistance, nor 24-hour staff. It's more like simply apartment living, but with meals, transportation, utilities, etc. all included. Anyway, 'll be moving there on December thirty-first. Hey, I want to have you visit as soon as I'm settled in! 

Betty's letter to me^J nov. 8.docx

Love Always,

Aunt Mimi/Mom

THURSDAY

As it turned out, yesterday, the rain didn't "hold off," but came down with a vengeance. Even worse, it's supposed to do the same today. Cheryl got back to me and will pick me up this morning at the usual 8:45. However, if it's raining heavily, I'm going to call and cancel. As for my weight, I know very well that I've gained, as the lack of exercise is evident, not to mention the calories. All right, I'll deal with that later.

I emailed to SO-FI the confirmation of my intention to vacate by December 31 and also paid my last rent electronically. What's infuriating is that they won't accept the utilities bill that way--you have to submit either a check or money order. Damn, that's annoying!  I'm glad I'll be able to pay the rent automatically at The Orchard. 

As she does most days, Ellen called in the morning (💖). She told me she had ordered me a smaller, lighter walker, which should arrive soon. It sounds good and I can return it if I don't like it. I called her in the afternoon to let her know I got a call from Primary Medical to say Livingston Health will be setting up an appointment to come to my place and go over my treatment and so on.  

Didn't do a whole heck of a lot otherwise, except watch an a documentary on Hollywood in the early twenties, narrated by Mickey Rooney.  

Unfortunately, I just looked at the forecast and the rain is supposed to start at 9 am. It's now 6:04 am and Cheryl will pick me up at 8:20, so I'll just wait and see. 

WEDNESDAY AND A DECISION

Put in a white wash after breakfast, then prepared for the my noon appointment at Second Wave Physical Therapy. SCAN Transportation picked me up at l1:15, which meant I was a half-hour early, but oh, well. I was put through the routine by Melissa, then another P.T., presumably to strengthen my legs and hips and straighten my balance. Ellen picked me up and went off to Julie's to get the boxes she offered me. I haven't seen her later and I was glad to catch up. We took the boxes to my place, dropped them off, then went to College Pharmacy to look at walkers. 

We've been there before, and I know Medicare will provide one free, but I want a smaller, more compact one and a few features the borrowed on doesn't have. Anyway, we tested some, but I still haven't made a decision.

From there, we went to lunch at Rincon Brewery. The acoustics are terrible in there, I guess because it's a very large, high-ceiling room, with large openings to the outdoor seating. It was too chilly for that, so we stayed in.  

After that, it was Wal-Mart for provisions and more boxes for packing. El then stayed at my place to help me dug out Halloween decorations (she'll store them in her shed until I decide which to take); my Thanksgiving turkey tapestry (she hung it on my front door); and a few other items.  She left about 5:00 with my grateful thanks.

Sharon texted to show me the top she painted with a Thanksgiving theme:   

Interestingly, she used nail polish for the "paint."

We also discussed the decision of the Trinity Lutheran leaders to require anyone who comes on their campus to "sign in" and to wear a badge. (I wonder if they'll have ICE demand papers or maybe require people to show proof of citizenship.) I'm trying to decide if I'll do this and I'm leaning toward not, but I'll decide tomorrow, as I had called Cheryl to ask her to pick me up. I have a number of questions about this, including: is the entire congregation required to do this, including BTW, Lennie, whose husband it the pastor emeritus? Has anyone protested this? Couldn't Lennie vouch for us, most of whom have been in the group for up to then years? Hmm...If I were religious, I'd ask "What would Jesus do?" but oops--I forgot, churches aren't supposed to ask that anymore.

Still haven't heard back from Irene about lunch today, but that's all right. I hope the rain holds off  and I can eat in the middle.

TUESDAY

Happy day, the rain has stopped! However, it's chilly--46  degrees as I write this at 7"14 on Wednesday. 

I called SCAN Transportation to book a ride to P.T. in Oxnard today. I was going to get a return home trip, too, but Ellen called to ask if I wanted to go to Wal-Mart to buy boxes, and yes, siree, so she'll pick me up from there. A welcome coincidence: Shortly after, my friend, Julie, called to ask if I wanted  packing boxes; she has some in her garage, left over from when she moved. Uh, huh, I sure do, so El and I thought we'd stop there first. However, Julie called back later and has to be somewhere then, so Julie will drop them off. El and I  also decided to add a stop at the College Pharmacy, to look at the walkers there, then got to lunch. 

Had a late breakfast, cleared up some financial stuff, then took my now-customary nap. Slept for close to an hour, then was awakened by a call from some independent living in Oxnard. I rejected his advances and got rid of him. 

Walked out to get my mail, then make lunch and ate on the patio. Lazed around the rest of the day with chores here and there, but generally not doing anything notable. Watched a documentary on the Laci Peterson case, then went to bed. Ho-hum... 😴

MONDAY AND MY FUTURE

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I did it. We went back to The Orchard and I submitted the documents needed, signed on the dotted line(s), and handed over a big fat check. 

I had been having all kinds of second thoughts, worries, apprehensions, and so on, but once we got to The Orchard, I realized I wanted to do this. We had a good meeting with the CEO (or whatever her title is), inspected the apartment again, and I calmed down. I'm going to move in a little more than a month and must now address SO-FI to give them my month's notice. 

We went to lunch at the Wood Ranch after, then El was kind enough to let me sit in the car at Von's while she picked up several things for me. Went back to my place, said goodbye, and I lay down for my nap. Up at 4:00 and I got ready for Vera to pick me up for dinner at our Soaring Spirits place, the Stone Fire Grille. She did and several join us, including Gayle, Grendel, Lyndall, Sally, and Susan, who brought her little doggy, Gizmo in a doggy carriage. Even I thought Gizmo was cute, but no, I don't want one or any other animal. 

Had a children's portion pasta marinara (I was still full from lunch) and talk with my fellow members. We're all sorry to know that Vera will move back to Oregon in January, but she says she'll visit. She also asked us all to come to our final 2025 S.S. dinner on December 1--I definitely will.

Home at 7:00 and I sat down to top off this entry, then poured myself a Vibe and watched T.V. for an hour or so.   

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It's Gwennie!  Or Cessy! Well, one of my grandkitties. (Picture courtesy of my blog buddy, Pat  Rodgers)

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SUNDAY

Well, the rain held off for the most part, but more is expected. Did my usual Sunday routine: medication, strip bed, re-make, and so on.

After breakfast, I dug out my boots, took my cart, and was able to get rid of my trash, then get my mail. I walked, of course, very slowly and carefully. Other than that, I didn't do much else, aside from some food prep; chopped up onions and green peppers, added tomatoes and spinach and made an all-veggie stir-fry. I was going to add baked cod for protein, but didn't feel like waiting to pre-heating the oven. 

I was glad to get my Senior ID, as I need to present it today at The Orchard. Got a notice from BOA that my payment of $225 last month didn't go through. I think, but am not sure, it was to the ambulance squad, but have no idea why it hadn't gone through. Must pursue it.

Took a nap on the couch, then played around on the laptop. Other than that, nada.

Note from Annoyanceville: Somebody sent me an hysterically video of a pretend-news story about how Californians react to rain. I wanted to add it here, but for some reason, I can't get to it. To view it, go to my Facebook page. 

SATURDAY AND RAIN, RAIN, RAIN!

Yes, and it's supposed to continue all through Monday! That means I'm stuck inside all that time. I have boot (but fur boots, fer cryin' out loud!) and a raincoat (two, actually), but I'm afraid to try to walk to the mail box, considering the wet pavement. 

Okay, I'll stop whining and record the thrilling incidents in my exciting, action-packed life. Oh, I forgot--there are none.

I took about a forty-minute nap, after which I made a big salad for lunch; by that time, it was 3:15. Talked to a few people on the phone, including my dear girl. Ellen said it was raining just as steadily in Ojai, so she colored her hair and did some household chores. I won't see her until tomorrow, when we go to The Orchard to complete the sign-in stuff. At least I have that to look forward to, plus dinner with the Soaring Spirits gang. 

As for the rest of the day, very little went on, considering I was shut in. I ate a vegetarian dinner (mixed broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, and so on, along with chicken for protein) and watched something on other on the boob box, but petty much laid low. 

FRIDAY AND HAPPY HOUR

Early on, I impulsively decided to invite Suzanne and Vickie over for an early Happy Hour. I texted them and we decided on last evening, although it was already Friday. Looked around for something to serve and couldn't find a thing except smoked oysters. Okay, that would work, but what else did I have? Aha--eggs, so I hard-boiled some and made deviled eggs. I had pretzels, too, and the gals would bring their own drinks, so that was that. 

Caught up on some bills, did a color wash, and a few other chores. Suzanne texted to ask if I'd like half a spaghetti squash. Sure thing and she brought it over, all cooked. That's what I had for lunch. 

A catch-up on Thursday: I forgot to mention that I called my old friend, Irene W., with whom I had planned to meet for lunch on Thursday and asked to postpone to next week. I just felt frazzled and overwhelmed and it was supposed to rain continually for several days and I didn't feel like going out in it. Irene was okay with that and I'll call her Wednesday to lock in Thursday. 

Suzanne and Vickie over, I announced my news. They expressed the usual sentiments and I told them something about The Orchard, three miles away. Of course, I'll invite them to visit when I'm settled in; I'm glad I finally made a decision, but am not  looking forward to what goes with moving.

Slept pretty well and got up to see it's continuing to rain. Good thing I have nothing scheduled until Monday, which is full: The Orchard in the morning, P.T. in Oxnard, and Soaring Spirits dinner, for which Vera will pick me up. 

WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY, AND A DECISION

WEDNESDAY: Ellen got here in the morning and we went to Von's to pick up some staples. We then went to the Hill Street Cafe for lunch (I had avocado on toast--mediocre--mediocre.  I just don't remember what we did after until we got to The Manor in Ojai at 4:00. We took the tour, conducted by the owner, a Polish woman, who opened it forty-some years ago. It was in a pleasant residential area and had a nice center patio, plus--something that charmed Ellen, but I, not so much: A large cat, several parrots, and a friendly, rust-colored, dog. I could have accepted them, but there was a particular drawback that I could never, never accept: the actual living accommodations. The bedrooms were very small and the bathrooms were shared: no, no, never!  What's hard to believe is that the cost was considerably higher than most of the others. Anyway, we then went to Ellen's, I settled my things in, we had dinner (Ellen's delicious homemade spaghetti squash and turkey burger dish), Greg came over, we played our game, then turned in. Here's a video of El' new side porch--and Gwennie, who has the run of it, as it's actually for the kitties, too: 

THURSDAY: Slept pretty well. We had breakfast, then left for Oxnard and Second Wave Physical Therapy for my 10:30 appointment. I liked the trainer, Brian, who had me do several exercises so he could evaluate my problems and needs. It seems my lower body strength is lacking, which explains the deficiencies in my balance. A schedule for me to go to p.t. was worked out and it's going to be twice a week to Oxnard. Of course, I'm expected to do them daily, also. Darn, I'm not looking forward to this regime. We went from there to The Orchard to have lunch with Karissa and a resident. The latter's name was Anita and she moved from Boston to California when she was eight. Yes, she's 95 years old, but in good shape and mentally sound. Anyway, we had a good lunch, then Karissa, El, and I went up to see the apartment again.

Okay, I'm going to cut this short. After some negotiating with Karissa and the CEO, Tiffany, I made a decision: I put a deposit down and will move there after giving a month's notice to vacate my present apartment. I'm finding it difficult to get my head around it, but I'm excited and looking forward to it while dreading packing everything up and the actual move. However, I'll have plenty of family help, of course from Ellen and Mike and Vivian will be here before the end of the month.

Whew!

TUESDAY AND VERA

Showered after breakfast, but didn't wash my hair, as I had planned to have Great Clips do it today (but see below).  I then spent almost the whole morning sorting and filing the mountain of papers I've accumulated. 

The access van picked me up at 1:00 and took me to WinCo. I didn't get everything on my list because I had scheduled it for only 45 minutes--why I didn't make it longer, I don't know. Anyway, I still have several staples to get, which I will today at Von's. 

Re hair: When I got home, I worked up my courage and washed it in the shower (my hair, that is, not  my courage🤩). That means I took two showers yesterday, so now I don't have to wash for a month or so--ha! Had turkey stir-fry for dinner, along with cabbage fritters. 

Called El to tell her about my hair, but she'll still come over at noon today. We'll go to Von's, then over to Oxnard to the P.T., then visit The Manor, another independent living place in Ojai. I'll stay over at her place--yay!--and on Thursday, we'll lunch at The Orchard.  

But bad news: I had a text this morning from Vera, the head of our Soaring Spirits widows' group. She had mentioned this as a possibility a month or so ago, but I was hoping it wouldn't come about. She and her daughter, Kendra, are moving back to her native Oregon, where her son lives, mostly because of money issues. One of these days, I'll sketch out her background, where is plenty interesting, but very tragic. Darn, even though she's close to my grandson's age, she's one of my favorite people and I'll miss her.

MONDAY

About 9:00, just as I was preparing breakfast, Sharon called. She told  me she and Lewis had gone to the movies, then proceeded to tell me the entire plot, scene by scene (it seemed more like word-for-word) of Sarah's Oil. By the time she  finished her narrative, she had talked for a good forty minutes, but oh, well. 

Niece Carolyn got here about noon, carrying a big, yummy, delicious SUB!  Okay, it wasn't a Sacco sub, the best that ever existed in the universe, but it was good. I provided the IPA for both of us and we settled down to eat and talk, talk, talk, always a fine thing to do with family. 

She and Dana had gone for a tour of the Santa Barbara Cemetery, conducted by a historian, and they had bought his book. Carolyn brought it with her to show me, as she knows I've always been fascinated to go to them:

Interestingly, after the tour, Carolyn volunteered to do some of his research and he accepted the offer with pleasure. It's perfect for her, as she's been a professional grant writer and researcher for years. 

After Carolyn left, I decided I'd like the book, so looked into Amazon. The book is listed and described, but a message read "This book is unavailable". I'm not sure why, but will continue to pursue it. 

After our pleasant visit, I made up  my mind I wasn't going to stay in anymore, so I took my cart and walked carefully out to get my mail.  I then called the Access Van and requested a trip tomorrow afternoon to WinCo. I'm running very low on staples, so will stock up at least on fresh produce and a few other essentials.   

Got a call from Tiffany, the executive director at the Orchard to say how much they're looking forward to seeing Ellen and me at lunch on----? I forgot--must call El and see which day we're due. Did so and it's tomorrow; lots more coming up, too. 

SUNDAY

Early on, yesterday was pretty much a bummer: I did very little, aside from my usual, washing and changing the bedclothes. Didn't go out at all except to have lunch on the patio. I also took two naps, a short one right after breakfast, then another on the couch later in the day. I'm a little concerned about this--I don't think it's healthy and it's not so much that I'm really tired--just bored, I guess.

I was scheduled to go to a BCNN lunch with Julie today, but called her to say I was concerned about my balance, so cancelled. I'll see her at the Christmas party next month, though. 

Things started looking up by 5:00 pm, though, when I turned to my darling daughter. Ellen was just driving home from the meadow, where she and Greg had hiked. They had taken separate cars and Greg had gone back to Santa Barbara to get salad ingredients and taken them to Ellen's, where she would cook up spaghetti squash to add to their dinners. (Damn, they sound like an old married couple.) 

Anyway, I was then pleased to get a call from niece Carolyn and we had a good chat. She offered to come down from SB to visit today, assuming the "gutter man"*  didn't come and I enthusiastically agreed. She said she'd bring lunch and told her I'll contribute IPAs, of which I have plenty. 

I was so glad to get a batch of pictures from Tokyo and how Mr. K. has grown!  At twelve, he's a handsome boy, as tall as his father. In fact, K. was in a school play recently and in that, he wore his Dad's suit.

Even after naps, I slept well last night and just got up at 5:30.

SATURDAY

DAMN--it's now 3:00 pm on Saturday and I just now published yesterday's entry! This has happened before and I'm going to leave a note to myself to prevent it. 

Did a color wash before breakfast, ate, then just cleaned up a bit. The office called to say I must removed the decorative items near my door. Why they give a damn, I don't know, but I said I couldn't do it by myself and I'd ask my daughter to do it on Wednesday.  

I want to have Suzanne and Vickie over soon for happy hour, but will probably wait until I have an announcement to make. My dear friend, Noreen, called to ask how the checking the independent living routes went and we discussed Ellen's and my findings so far. After the smoke clears, I'll take her for lunch with the one I choose.

Ellen called to tell me that The Artesian, which we had planned to visit on Wednesday, is actually only for assisted living and memory care, so that's off our list. We have The Manor scheduled for 4:00 on Wednesday, but she'll see if we can make it earlier. If so, El will pick me up sometime in the late morning, we'll have lunch, then I'll sleep over her place (the house is finished and I can't wait to see it) and we'll go to the physical therapy in Oxnard on Thursday. On Friday, Irene will pick me up for lunch--whew. And yippee, the following week Mike and Vivian will be here for Thanksgiving. It was a little cool, so lunched on the patio.

Other than that, nothing much went on...aside from an unpleasant interlude on the phone on which I don't want to elaborate.

FRIDAY AND CYPRESS PLACE

One more visitation yesterday: We went to Cypress Place and got the tour from the manager, Mike. I've been there before, as I have with most of the others, just for various reasons. Anyway, it's not bad, but also not a favorite. It's only twenty years old, but still seems a tad dated. The rooms were pretty good and several had balconies. A big asset would be its close proximity to the Von's shopping center (not the one across from me now) and to the bus stop--not that I've felt comfortable riding the bus lately. 

We didn't have lunch there, but had intended to stop at Subway, then eat at my place. However, El had a doctor's appointment at 4:30, so we stopped elsewhere for a burrito. El took me home, then went off.

So there are more places in Ojai to go, which we will on Wednesday. We'll visit Artesian and The Manor, then I'll sleep over El's and she'll take me to the P.T. place in Oxnard.    

Irene W. texted me and we agreed to meet for lunch next Friday.. Stella called and ditto for her; we talked for some time, as she's also looking for independent or assisted living, also. Just back from Vietnam, Mike called to ask about our progress re independent living and I brought him up to date.

Unfortunately, I got up several times during the night, finally conking out for good something like 2:00 am. That's disappointing, considering I had been active.  Today--finally--I have nothing scheduled and hope to catch on things.   

WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY

Once again, I forgot to post this yesterday. That's the second time and I have no excuse except that--well, I forgot.  

WEDNESDAY: In the morning, I steeled myself to take the trash out and pick up the mail from yesterday, being especially careful to push the cart and walk reasonably slowly. 

I was alarmed to get a notice from the post office that a registered letter had come from a law firm in Jersey, which they tried to deliver yesterday, but nobody was there to sign it. What? I had been home all day on Tuesday and nobody had rung the bell. I decided to ask Noreen to drop me at the P.O. after we went to lunch. Did a color wash and cleaned up a bit before she did at 1:00. I had asked her to decide where to go to eat and she chose Danny's Deli, which was fine by me. Her friend, Gary, met us there and we had a good time. As ever, Noreen and I talked and talked and Gary mostly listened--or didn't listen, as he was a hearing loss. I know he has a aid, but he doesn't seem to use it and we have to repeat a lot. 

After a leisurely meal,  we said goodbye to Gary and Noreen took me to the post office. It turned out the letter was no big deal. It was from a firm announcing about a new development being planned in Little Egg close to Sunrise Bay, where my house is. I guess it's just a legal requirement to notify nearby residents. 

Home at 3:00 and I was tired. Watched T.V. for an hour or so, then took a short nap. After dinner, I played around on the laptop. Happily I slept well and just got up at 5:15.

Today, Ellen will get here at 12:30 and we'll start on our quest for Mama's living arrangements. Now I'm actually looking forward to it, strangely enough--the quest, that is, maybe not the actual move.  

THURSDAY:  Now it's 7:00 am on Thursday, November 7. I'm going to make this short although it was a very full day. We got to our first look-see, The Lexington, at 12:30, and were greeted by (the director? the manager? The Big Mahoff?--Can't remember the title) and shown around. It's pleasant enough, but seemed a little dated (it opened 46 years ago). I thought the apartments were oddly laid out, especially the one-bedroom ones, which I would probably choose.  We were then ushered into the dining room (not impressive) and had lunch. Ellen had a taco salad and I a hamburger, which did it for me. It was clearly from the freezer--and I was naive to ask for it rare, and it was clearly a pre-shaped, bought frozen one, perfectly round and grayish. What's more, they don't serve alcohol, so no IPA--horrors! Of course, you can bring your own, but.... Of course, it hall all the usual amenities, but considering the negatives--and remarkably, it was one of higher priced ones--no.

Next, we visited The Orchard. I'm not going in to a lot of detail, but just read the previous paragraph and turn all the negatives to positives. It's only twenty years old, the dining room was lovely and there were nicely printed menus on all the tables, and the one-bedroom had a wonderful large balcony looking over the landscape. To top it off, we talked about the cost--well, we negotiated and it's actually lower than the one at The Lexington.  I also liked the fact that there, the independent living section is in  different building from the assisted living/memory care.  If that sounds mean, so be it. The only drawback--wouldn't you know, there was one--is that it's in Ventura, not Ojai, so is an extra fifteen minutes away from Ellen's. Anyway, here's The Orchard:

I'm going to end this now, but there was much, much more to like about The Orchard, including Carissa Peach (love the name!), the sales director, who showed us around. Ellen had told her about me, mentioning Fractured Actors and my writing, and so on. I was amazed when she gave me this notebook for my writings:

The three of us had a lot of laughs together and I told her that when I was in H.R., so long ago, I would hired her immediately.

Anyway, home about 5:00 and El and I talked about our experiences at the two places. Today, we go to Cypress Place at 12:00, but won't lunch there, as El has a doctor's appointment at 3:00. Now I'm going to end this have breakfast--sorry for the missed entry. 💖

TUESDAY AND DIANE KEATON

 I slept well, I'm glad to report, and got up at 5:15. Yes, that's a little early, but I was asleep before 10:00 and it was okay. 

After breakfast, I called Muckie and we had a good long talk; she's doing fairly well, considering her malady. As always, we talked candidly about her condition, our marriages, sex, and other topics that would have been anathema to our parents. She asked me to say hello to Pat R., and I'll do that now:     

                 💓HELLO, PATTI, FROM YOUR SISTER R.N. AND OLD FRIEND, MUCKIE!!!💓

Ellen called to report on the house renovations, which are almost completely finished. She also spent time making our dates to see independent living places in both Ojai and Ventura, setting up two for tomorrow.  

Finally got some chores done, including scrubbing the bathroom, as well kitchen counters. Then I kind of sat around waiting for Dr. Ficks, the endocrinologist, to Zoom me at 3:00. When she did, she said I was doing pretty well and should stay on my present weekly regime. and continue until 2027. She also asked how old my mother was when she died, when I was born and so on, and we chatted a bit about our  personal lives. Her father died at 99 last year and her mother, still living, is 98. She marveled over how mentally sound I am (ha--many would probably dispute that) and I enjoyed exchanging family backgrounds. Didn't get lunch until after 4:00 and boy, was I hungry. I had a salmon patty sandwich and it was yum.

Called Noreen to be sure she remembered to pick me up today for our lunch date. She did and she will. 

I finished watching The Godfather last night; incredibly, it's now 46 years old, but still wonderfully well done. However, I never liked the acting style of Diane Keaton, who died less than a month ago at 79. She seemed limp and uninvolved in the role, even somewhat dazed. The other actors were generally excellent, especially members of the Godfather's biological family and Mafia "family."

MONDAY AND DEATH

Ellen picked me up for my 10:20 appointment with P.A. Natalie and we went over a lot of my medical history, medications, recommendation, and so on. Got a referral for dermatology and we discussed my upcoming P.T. appointment. El suggested a p.t. could come to me, instead of me going to them. We'll hear back.

After that, we went to the DMV. It was jammed, f course, and after the usual harrowing wait, showing documents, and getting my picture taken, the tasks seem to be done. I now have a handicapped placard and will be sent a senior I.D., which I believe stands in for a "real I.D."--or something.

Followed that with lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, the Wood Ranch. and we both got their yummy Asian salad with chicken. Home, Ellen helped me with some more business stuff and we discussed visiting independent living facilities in the coming weeks. El left soon after for her dance class, with my fervent thanks.

Stella called to ask if I wanted to go to lunch on the fourteenth, but I just don't want to schedule anything else right now. We chatted for some time and will keep in touch.

Before dinner, I actually--again!--sat down and watched T.V., a podcast called "Bury Me Feet First." Each episode  chronicles a different dying person's desire to control their own destinies. So far, all the patients are relatively young--in their thirties to sixties--and their stories are touching. As for me, if I am ever in intractable pain or, for that matter,  there's another reason I want to end this life, I will certainly consider doing that. I see no reason to suffer if there's no hope of alleviation. 

BTW, assisted suicide is legal in D.C. and twelve states. Interestingly (well, it's i interesting to me) they include the two states in which I've lived, New Jersey and California. In the latter, final approval went into law on September 11, 2015, Ellen's birthday. Do I find that mysteriously significant? 

No.

SUNDAY

Sleep wasn't too great again, but I don't feel draggy. Washed sheets and changed the bed, being very aware of the minor hazards that put me on the floor a few weeks ago. 

My neighbor/birdman, David, sent me a text wishing me Happy Daylight Savings Time--ha! He then wrote he was in the hot tub and would I like to join him?  I responded, "Oh no, David, people would talk!" David just turned sixty, so I kinda doubt he was getting fresh. 

Stella just texted me to as if I wanted to go to a luncheon on November11. She followed that with another text asking if I wanted to go the a lunch in Santa Paula at the end of the month. It was a little unclear, so I tried to call her, but a recording said the number was no longer valid and a new one hadn't been listed. Later, I got another text saying she'll call me shortly, but she didn't. I

Again, I didn't go out all day. I can't wait to see Ellen, which I will shortly. We work as a team (poor girl!) and have a 10:20 appointment at Primary Medical to discuss the various BP and referral stuff. 

El and I will soon be visiting independent living places and I hope to find one with a variety of people.  I don't want to be stuck with a bunch of only professional types--many, especially doctors--seem to have a tendency to be boring. I'd prefer a facility that have people of color, maybe gays, Asians, Latinas, and so on. That certainly isn't a requirement, but I'd like it. Aha--guess I'm still on the fence about that new style of life. 

SATURDAY

Exciting news: I poured cleaner into the tub drain and flushed it out! 

Yes, that was probably the high point of the day; it was pretty slow and that's all right with me. I'm concentrating on my future and, rather than being depressed about it, I'm interested. I'm looking forward to visiting a number of facilities so I can make some kind of informed choice. My children are very much involved and that's the best part of this whole endeavor. 

Mike sent a spreadsheet of my finances to his siblings and me. Happily, it seems I can move to independent living without having to sell my house. I want to start visiting some of them shortly. 

I did do a few minor chores, but mostly just hung out and looked at websites of various independent living facilities. Took a nap--now pretty much a daily thing--and watched some insipid crap on T.V. It was overcast and cook and I stayed in. 

Note: I forgot to mention yesterday that Cheryl lent me her spare BP monitor--this the upper arm kind and I've been using both devices. However, I'm not absolutely sure I'm doing it right--they both seem to measure very high. Is that because of stress or what? Not sure. 

Unfortunately, my sleep was very poor again. I'm sure it's due to my lack of exercise, but not only. I've been slacking off --rather on--with the calorie intake, eating a lot of garbs. Hmm, I'd better get serious pretty soon.  

FRIDAY

 Disaster at the scale!  I was up 2.6 at home and 2.7 at T.O.P.S., so 133.4 and 134.7, respectively. Okay, I know why--because I haven't been getting three or four daily miles or, for that matter, almost any other exercise. To make it worse, being more or less stuck at home, I've been indulging in--well, what I shouldn't. 

At the meeting, Maryann proposed we keep a kind of daily diary (she related to the theme of the ep who addressed us last week), possibly along with a daily phone call to encourage sticking to the program. I opted out, mostly because I want to turn my full attention to my health issues.  I also told the group I'll  be attending only monthly, so the next time I go will be the day after Thanksgiving. (See below for two of our devilish members.)

Home at 10:30 and didn't get breakfast until after 11:00. Did some food prep: I had a pound of mushrooms and a green pepper; sliced them up and pan fried with a little olive oil. Not bad as a side dish. Had a big salad for lunch, then kind of futzed around with little chores. About 5:00, the doorbell rang and it was two little boys dressed as some kind of sports outfits and that was the sum total of my t. or t. visitors. Instead of sweets, I give out four quarters; kids get much too much sugar as it is. (That's me, Mrs. Scrooge 😠.)

Mike facetimed me about 8:00 and we had a long discussion about--well, I might as well be honest: his mother's future. He heads up my team of financial advisors, the four people I trust the most in the world, although he can be a pain at times (unlike his mother, who is the epitome of saintliness). With my input, he worked up a spread sheet while we explored independent living options and we'll go on from there.                                                           💀💀💀💀💀💀 💀💀💀💀

                                                      

Above Sharon and her Boo-Day garb.

                                                         

Above: leader Lennie and her Halloween chapeau.  

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