FRIDAY AND CYPRESS PLACE

One more visitation yesterday: We went to Cypress Place and got the tour from the manager, Mike. I've been there before, as I have with most of the others, just for various reasons. Anyway, it's not bad, but also not a favorite. It's only twenty years old, but still seems a tad dated. The rooms were pretty good and several had balconies. A big asset would be its close proximity to the Von's shopping center (not the one across from me now) and to the bus stop--not that I've felt comfortable riding the bus lately. 

We didn't have lunch there, but had intended to stop at Subway, then eat at my place. However, El had a doctor's appointment at 4:30, so we stopped elsewhere for a burrito. El took me home, then went off.

So there are more places in Ojai to go, which we will on Wednesday. We'll visit Artesian and The Manor, then I'll sleep over El's and she'll take me to the P.T. place in Oxnard.    

Irene W. texted me and we agreed to meet for lunch next Friday.. Stella called and ditto for her; we talked for some time, as she's also looking for independent or assisted living, also. Just back from Vietnam, Mike called to ask about our progress re independent living and I brought him up to date.

Unfortunately, I got up several times during the night, finally conking out for good something like 2:00 am. That's disappointing, considering I had been active.  Today--finally--I have nothing scheduled and hope to catch on things.   

WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY

Once again, I forgot to post this yesterday. That's the second time and I have no excuse except that--well, I forgot.  

WEDNESDAY: In the morning, I steeled myself to take the trash out and pick up the mail from yesterday, being especially careful to push the cart and walk reasonably slowly. 

I was alarmed to get a notice from the post office that a registered letter had come from a law firm in Jersey, which they tried to deliver yesterday, but nobody was there to sign it. What? I had been home all day on Tuesday and nobody had rung the bell. I decided to ask Noreen to drop me at the P.O. after we went to lunch. Did a color wash and cleaned up a bit before she did at 1:00. I had asked her to decide where to go to eat and she chose Danny's Deli, which was fine by me. Her friend, Gary, met us there and we had a good time. As ever, Noreen and I talked and talked and Gary mostly listened--or didn't listen, as he was a hearing loss. I know he has a aid, but he doesn't seem to use it and we have to repeat a lot. 

After a leisurely meal,  we said goodbye to Gary and Noreen took me to the post office. It turned out the letter was no big deal. It was from a firm announcing about a new development being planned in Little Egg close to Sunrise Bay, where my house is. I guess it's just a legal requirement to notify nearby residents. 

Home at 3:00 and I was tired. Watched T.V. for an hour or so, then took a short nap. After dinner, I played around on the laptop. Happily I slept well and just got up at 5:15.

Today, Ellen will get here at 12:30 and we'll start on our quest for Mama's living arrangements. Now I'm actually looking forward to it, strangely enough--the quest, that is, maybe not the actual move.  

THURSDAY:  Now it's 7:00 am on Thursday, November 7. I'm going to make this short although it was a very full day. We got to our first look-see, The Lexington, at 12:30, and were greeted by (the director? the manager? The Big Mahoff?--Can't remember the title) and shown around. It's pleasant enough, but seemed a little dated (it opened 46 years ago). I thought the apartments were oddly laid out, especially the one-bedroom ones, which I would probably choose.  We were then ushered into the dining room (not impressive) and had lunch. Ellen had a taco salad and I a hamburger, which did it for me. It was clearly from the freezer--and I was naive to ask for it rare, and it was clearly a pre-shaped, bought frozen one, perfectly round and grayish. What's more, they don't serve alcohol, so no IPA--horrors! Of course, you can bring your own, but.... Of course, it hall all the usual amenities, but considering the negatives--and remarkably, it was one of higher priced ones--no.

Next, we visited The Orchard. I'm not going in to a lot of detail, but just read the previous paragraph and turn all the negatives to positives. It's only twenty years old, the dining room was lovely and there were nicely printed menus on all the tables, and the one-bedroom had a wonderful large balcony looking over the landscape. To top it off, we talked about the cost--well, we negotiated and it's actually lower than the one at The Lexington.  I also liked the fact that there, the independent living section is in  different building from the assisted living/memory care.  If that sounds mean, so be it. The only drawback--wouldn't you know, there was one--is that it's in Ventura, not Ojai, so is an extra fifteen minutes away from Ellen's. Anyway, here's The Orchard:

I'm going to end this now, but there was much, much more to like about The Orchard, including Carissa Peach (love the name!), the sales director, who showed us around. Ellen had told her about me, mentioning Fractured Actors and my writing, and so on. I was amazed when she gave me this notebook for my writings:

The three of us had a lot of laughs together and I told her that when I was in H.R., so long ago, I would hired her immediately.

Anyway, home about 5:00 and El and I talked about our experiences at the two places. Today, we go to Cypress Place at 12:00, but won't lunch there, as El has a doctor's appointment at 3:00. Now I'm going to end this have breakfast--sorry for the missed entry. 💖

TUESDAY AND DIANE KEATON

 I slept well, I'm glad to report, and got up at 5:15. Yes, that's a little early, but I was asleep before 10:00 and it was okay. 

After breakfast, I called Muckie and we had a good long talk; she's doing fairly well, considering her malady. As always, we talked candidly about her condition, our marriages, sex, and other topics that would have been anathema to our parents. She asked me to say hello to Pat R., and I'll do that now:     

                 💓HELLO, PATTI, FROM YOUR SISTER R.N. AND OLD FRIEND, MUCKIE!!!💓

Ellen called to report on the house renovations, which are almost completely finished. She also spent time making our dates to see independent living places in both Ojai and Ventura, setting up two for tomorrow.  

Finally got some chores done, including scrubbing the bathroom, as well kitchen counters. Then I kind of sat around waiting for Dr. Ficks, the endocrinologist, to Zoom me at 3:00. When she did, she said I was doing pretty well and should stay on my present weekly regime. and continue until 2027. She also asked how old my mother was when she died, when I was born and so on, and we chatted a bit about our  personal lives. Her father died at 99 last year and her mother, still living, is 98. She marveled over how mentally sound I am (ha--many would probably dispute that) and I enjoyed exchanging family backgrounds. Didn't get lunch until after 4:00 and boy, was I hungry. I had a salmon patty sandwich and it was yum.

Called Noreen to be sure she remembered to pick me up today for our lunch date. She did and she will. 

I finished watching The Godfather last night; incredibly, it's now 46 years old, but still wonderfully well done. However, I never liked the acting style of Diane Keaton, who died less than a month ago at 79. She seemed limp and uninvolved in the role, even somewhat dazed. The other actors were generally excellent, especially members of the Godfather's biological family and Mafia "family."

MONDAY AND DEATH

Ellen picked me up for my 10:20 appointment with P.A. Natalie and we went over a lot of my medical history, medications, recommendation, and so on. Got a referral for dermatology and we discussed my upcoming P.T. appointment. El suggested a p.t. could come to me, instead of me going to them. We'll hear back.

After that, we went to the DMV. It was jammed, f course, and after the usual harrowing wait, showing documents, and getting my picture taken, the tasks seem to be done. I now have a handicapped placard and will be sent a senior I.D., which I believe stands in for a "real I.D."--or something.

Followed that with lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, the Wood Ranch. and we both got their yummy Asian salad with chicken. Home, Ellen helped me with some more business stuff and we discussed visiting independent living facilities in the coming weeks. El left soon after for her dance class, with my fervent thanks.

Stella called to ask if I wanted to go to lunch on the fourteenth, but I just don't want to schedule anything else right now. We chatted for some time and will keep in touch.

Before dinner, I actually--again!--sat down and watched T.V., a podcast called "Bury Me Feet First." Each episode  chronicles a different dying person's desire to control their own destinies. So far, all the patients are relatively young--in their thirties to sixties--and their stories are touching. As for me, if I am ever in intractable pain or, for that matter,  there's another reason I want to end this life, I will certainly consider doing that. I see no reason to suffer if there's no hope of alleviation. 

BTW, assisted suicide is legal in D.C. and twelve states. Interestingly (well, it's i interesting to me) they include the two states in which I've lived, New Jersey and California. In the latter, final approval went into law on September 11, 2015, Ellen's birthday. Do I find that mysteriously significant? 

No.

SUNDAY

Sleep wasn't too great again, but I don't feel draggy. Washed sheets and changed the bed, being very aware of the minor hazards that put me on the floor a few weeks ago. 

My neighbor/birdman, David, sent me a text wishing me Happy Daylight Savings Time--ha! He then wrote he was in the hot tub and would I like to join him?  I responded, "Oh no, David, people would talk!" David just turned sixty, so I kinda doubt he was getting fresh. 

Stella just texted me to as if I wanted to go to a luncheon on November11. She followed that with another text asking if I wanted to go the a lunch in Santa Paula at the end of the month. It was a little unclear, so I tried to call her, but a recording said the number was no longer valid and a new one hadn't been listed. Later, I got another text saying she'll call me shortly, but she didn't. I

Again, I didn't go out all day. I can't wait to see Ellen, which I will shortly. We work as a team (poor girl!) and have a 10:20 appointment at Primary Medical to discuss the various BP and referral stuff. 

El and I will soon be visiting independent living places and I hope to find one with a variety of people.  I don't want to be stuck with a bunch of only professional types--many, especially doctors--seem to have a tendency to be boring. I'd prefer a facility that have people of color, maybe gays, Asians, Latinas, and so on. That certainly isn't a requirement, but I'd like it. Aha--guess I'm still on the fence about that new style of life. 

SATURDAY

Exciting news: I poured cleaner into the tub drain and flushed it out! 

Yes, that was probably the high point of the day; it was pretty slow and that's all right with me. I'm concentrating on my future and, rather than being depressed about it, I'm interested. I'm looking forward to visiting a number of facilities so I can make some kind of informed choice. My children are very much involved and that's the best part of this whole endeavor. 

Mike sent a spreadsheet of my finances to his siblings and me. Happily, it seems I can move to independent living without having to sell my house. I want to start visiting some of them shortly. 

I did do a few minor chores, but mostly just hung out and looked at websites of various independent living facilities. Took a nap--now pretty much a daily thing--and watched some insipid crap on T.V. It was overcast and cook and I stayed in. 

Note: I forgot to mention yesterday that Cheryl lent me her spare BP monitor--this the upper arm kind and I've been using both devices. However, I'm not absolutely sure I'm doing it right--they both seem to measure very high. Is that because of stress or what? Not sure. 

Unfortunately, my sleep was very poor again. I'm sure it's due to my lack of exercise, but not only. I've been slacking off --rather on--with the calorie intake, eating a lot of garbs. Hmm, I'd better get serious pretty soon.  

FRIDAY

 Disaster at the scale!  I was up 2.6 at home and 2.7 at T.O.P.S., so 133.4 and 134.7, respectively. Okay, I know why--because I haven't been getting three or four daily miles or, for that matter, almost any other exercise. To make it worse, being more or less stuck at home, I've been indulging in--well, what I shouldn't. 

At the meeting, Maryann proposed we keep a kind of daily diary (she related to the theme of the ep who addressed us last week), possibly along with a daily phone call to encourage sticking to the program. I opted out, mostly because I want to turn my full attention to my health issues.  I also told the group I'll  be attending only monthly, so the next time I go will be the day after Thanksgiving. (See below for two of our devilish members.)

Home at 10:30 and didn't get breakfast until after 11:00. Did some food prep: I had a pound of mushrooms and a green pepper; sliced them up and pan fried with a little olive oil. Not bad as a side dish. Had a big salad for lunch, then kind of futzed around with little chores. About 5:00, the doorbell rang and it was two little boys dressed as some kind of sports outfits and that was the sum total of my t. or t. visitors. Instead of sweets, I give out four quarters; kids get much too much sugar as it is. (That's me, Mrs. Scrooge 😠.)

Mike facetimed me about 8:00 and we had a long discussion about--well, I might as well be honest: his mother's future. He heads up my team of financial advisors, the four people I trust the most in the world, although he can be a pain at times (unlike his mother, who is the epitome of saintliness). With my input, he worked up a spread sheet while we explored independent living options and we'll go on from there.                                                           💀💀💀💀💀💀 💀💀💀💀

                                                      

Above Sharon and her Boo-Day garb.

                                                         

Above: leader Lennie and her Halloween chapeau.  

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